the lake family

valentine's musings

2012-02-14T08:23:00.001-08:00

it's valentine's day and b is in mexico city. apparently next week is valentine's WEEK in the lake house. (and cue eye roll and exaggerated "mmmm hmmmmmmm....") here are my valentine's day musings...

heart pancakes are hard to perfect. even harder? heart pancakes while balancing a grabby 11-month old on your hip.

savasana WILL put you to sleep at an early yoga class, if you really allow it. i think it means i've made great strides in my practice.

love letters (read: love emails) from my man is one of the advantages of a traveling husband. a different form of communication where he steals my heart (again) every time he writes.

lot of ladies at the sports center wearing pink today. why i opted for my top shop black & white striped sweater. what, my nails? yes, those are pink.

easily my favorite toddler-ism of all time? the fact that fallon has been calling it fallon-tine's day ALL day today. i do not have it in my heart to correct her.

from my grandma and grandpa hill, 50 people have come into the family tree. 50 lives have been created from 2 people. yowza. married for 60+ years and a genealogy like that is what valentine's day is about.

i am digging the civil wars pandora station right now.

my dad asked me to save a few baby food jars for him for nails, screws, tinkly-dinks, etc. i have been making myself laugh every time i add one to the bag of like, 30+ jars. i get to give them ALL to him tonight.

i have been brought to tears recently in praying for the salvation of my girls. it's one of the most beautiful feelings in the world to care that deeply and desire something so intensely.

here's to a happy valentine's day.

getting ready

2012-02-10T12:34:00.001-08:00

recently my sister in law, mother of 3 boys, asked me if the girls liked to be around me while i was getting ready in the morning. "of course. don't all kids?" turns out, they don't. one of those things when you only have girls, you don't really think about.

that time in the morning when sav goes down for her morning nap and i get to tend to such things as make up and hair straightening, has become sacred time between fal & i. she sits on the counter next to me, feet in sink. "can i put my feet in here, mommy?" "yep!" every time. then i get to applying and she gets to playing. & commentating:

ooh, mommy are you coloring on your eyes?

i'm just gonna use these (tweezers) and fix this (mirror)

can i use some of that mom?

are you gonna brush your teeth?

and my new favorite from today: i'm gonna pick the bugs off of your back (apply tweezers to back and begin picking) see, there's one right there.

one of those special little times with my girl that i don't want to ever forget. that, and how much she loves looking at my pictures from when i lived in paris.

SOOOO big.

2012-02-06T10:44:00.000-08:00

baby girl is growing up wicked fast. this one is for you, sav.

dear sav:

you are about 10 1/2 months old. you truly light up the room. your smile, eyes, & genuine excitement could make anyone feel better. you love life and i can't wait to see how you will be an encouragement to friends & others in the future.

we still call you swiper because you get your eye on something across the room and there is no distracting you (dog bowl, iPhone, fal's toys, big shot's tail, waterbottles) and what's more, when told "no" you turn and show us that smile...and keep on-a-goin!

i can't help but spoil you with sleeping in my arm crook every morning. we've got our routine and i look so forward to it each night as i fall asleep.

you have babbled a ton of words and we give you credit for actually saying: "dada", "mama", "buh-buh" (bye bye), "arf", and a 1-time still don't know if it was accidental "all done!"

daddy and i keep talking about what a fun age you are at, but then we laugh because we've said that with each new stage you've encountered

a lot of things make you laugh, but you're pretty sure the funniest thing going is when fallon pops out from under your high chair with a "BOO!" that, and buzz lightyear.

for the record, i think you will be walking within 2 weeks.

you are a loving, free-spirited little thing. i thank God for the opportunity to be your mom and i pray every day that your heart will be softened to become a girl/woman who knows Him, loves Him and fears Him. stay positive peanut. keep seeking out little bits of adventure. keep observing others like you do, i think you will learn a lot from assessing situations. you can probably stop the whole laughing-at-us-when-we-try-to-instruct you thing, but keep the rest.

here comes the sun

2012-01-30T09:51:00.000-08:00

driving back from my parents late last night (ok, 8pm) i had a quiet car. sav slept, fal occassionally laughed at parts of toy story, i rocked out to sinatra on sirius. i felt soft. like all is right. well, as right as it should be. with b gone, we have once again been blessed by his prayer over us and the 6th sense that fal seems to get when he's gone...the sense that says "be easy on mom. she needs it."

we spent some time with "pink grandma" (bryon's mom) and then "regular grandma" (my mom) and papa. i'm humbled by the love that is poured into/onto my girls from their grandparents. then i think how there's nothing i wouldn't do for my girls and i think i kinda get it. kinda. my mom talks about how she wishes she could talk to her mom now that she's a grandma, how much she understands the love that my grandma oozed. and boy did she ooze it.

after a couple of days attending a conference downtown (thursday & friday) i was so ready to be in my main role as mom. while at the conference, i talked with my boss about how there's nothing better than being a parent. proving once again, that no matter where i go, what walk of life people are in, kids take the cake. even with single friends, they want to hear stories. stories of potty training and funny things fallon says and the way savvy now moves from couch to ottoman and back, gaining strength, confidence and sass.

while talking with a friend today, i let her know that fal was doing so well with b gone. then i said the obligatory, "i'm sure it won't last forever, but..." she kindly reminded me that i didn't have to say that. and i don't. it's not always perfect & easy, but when things feel good, ain't nuttin wrong with that. and right now? we feel pretty good.

we're learning about David in bible study this season. how God used David, a shepherd, to be King of Israel and one of the noted descendants of Jesus Christ. no matter what we are doing (tending sheep, tending kids) when we give our whole heart to God, he will use our skills for the furthering of His kingdom. makes putting the dishes away feel a little more meaningful.

me? a dishgirl in a place that is speaking the good news to others? or perhaps i will use my skills in gently handling dishes to gently handle others, like they're ceramic. who knows!

while my thoughts don't feel cohesive, they feel raw and they feel positive. so i'm gonna keep on talking.

the other night i laid in bed with fallon and i thought she was asleep. all of the sudden i heard a little whisper. "mommy, can you turn the light on so i can see my socks?"

yesterday my mom let savvy play with my phone. 10 months old and she took a finger to the screen and swiped. i kid you not. apps went flying everywhere and i still can't figure out which one is missing.

savvy keeps peeing through her diapers by morning. i moved her up a size and they fit like granny panties, but she leaked through again. these things stump you as a mom.

whenever fallon walks by and wants you to move your legs/arms/whatever, she says "abracadabra" (abra-dabra) instead of excuse me. thanks pink grandma :)

i've decided to grow my hair out, yet again. it's at an awkward over my ears and too long bangs phase.

i got to go to target this weekend by myself. i was able to get a few necessary items that i'm all too excited about: iron, ironing board, new garbage can. i ironed bryon's pants for him last week with our $9 toastmaster iron on the carpet. he didn't hang them up because he wasn't sure if they had been ironed yet. "i was going to wait for you to say something to see what the situation was"

oh and our garbage can has been 2 inches too high for the last year and a half. you had to take it out of the cabinet to get stuff into it. fixed it. bam!

i'm listening to my paul simon pandora station while working on my computer in the lounge of the gym, i get too distracted listening to entertaining conversations otherwise. but now i can't stop humming along to "here comes the sun" (please come, sun. please!)

and now i'm off to wrap up work, go for a run, and then be at home for when the girls get up from their naps.

lake out!

vagabonds

2012-01-24T10:07:00.000-08:00

over the weekend we traveled to winona lake, indiana for a family reunion, baby shower, birthday surprise all rolled into one fabulous little ball. there were loads of cousins, college-aged girls for fallon to follow around & hold savvy girl, an epic dance party, showering my cousin & her soon-to-be son, a rousing game of knock-out, and a celebration of my amazing mom. oh, and sleeping in a -10 degree "lodge" cuddled in a bed next to fal gal. awesome doesn't begin to describe.

the last 5 weekends, we've spent in: michigan, chicago, new orleans, and indiana. this weekend? b leaves for china and us girls are headed up to lake geneva. we're in this mode of cozy up and have fun around the house during the week and then live like vagabonds on the weekend.

as a mom, there is nothing i love more than making my family feel safe, secure, and comfortable in our home. for them to WANT to be there. at the same time, i want them to view material possessions & places as just that, material. replaceable.

routine is whatever we are doing together as a family: our pace, our style, our approach

toys are whatever we find to play with, wherever we are playing

home is spending time together: growing, playing, resting, laughing. our house is nice and we love coming back to it, but the state of being together is our home.

our mattress, though? our mattress is something that deserves praise. no matter if it's from the lodge in winona lake or the jw in new orleans, our mattress is one of the best things to come back to. and i'm fairly certain fal feels the same way about her bed. "can i sleep in MY bed tonight, mommy?"

yes you can, sweetie.

we all sleep better at home. we eat better at home. we relax more at home. i love that. i want them, us, to experience people, places, discomforts, out-of-the-norms, and then come back to our resting place and spend time together.

now babe, let's GET OUR FLORIDA TRIP BOOKED. my skin is as pasty as the snow.

lately...

2012-01-17T12:08:00.000-08:00

girls: a weekend at grandma & grandpa's

us: a weekend in new orleans

clapping on the dolphins at the shedd

sassy pants

naps on mom, happy mom

sav being sav

fal being fal

deciding we need to hire a professional photographer. and probably baby benadryl the girls...

on work.

2012-01-12T09:08:00.000-08:00

i often have a hard time leaving the girls to get work done during the day. i truly feel blessed that i'm able to work very flexible hours from home, that we have an amazing sitter who truly compliments our parenting efforts, and that i am passionate about what i do. when scenarios like the article below happen, i'm affirmed with our situation. though i sometimes waver, i trust God is using this time in our life for our growth and His purposes.

Fusion Sports (Ga.) and Recreation modifies Ready, Set, Run! to benefit youth of all abilities

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Participants of the Ready, Set, Run! program at Fusion Sports and Recreation took to the trails of the Royston (Ga.) Wellness Park last fall. They challenged their bodies and minds as they trained to complete running a 5k.

“Many walkers, runners and park patrons loved seeing the kids getting out and being active,” said Jared Hightower, director of Fusion Sports and Recreation.

Ready, Set, Run!, a youth running program developed by the National Alliance for Youth Sports, prepares youngsters over 12 weeks to run a 5k. Each week they built endurance and stamina through play-based activities that accompanied a character development curriculum focusing on topics like confidence, self-esteem, respecting authority, dealing with peer pressure and nutrition.

While the benefits of sports – from increased confidence to teamwork skills – are numerous, the impact of sports among those with disabilities is especially prominent. Of the 13 runners that participated, two were individuals with special needs.

“Those with disabilities have the same competitive desires as we do, and they also need to gain satisfaction from accomplishing goals and being challenged,” said Hightower.

Motivated by his passion to encourage all kids to get outside and be active, Hightower modified the Ready, Set, Run! program to work for the special needs runners. He says it was as simple as scaling down the intensity of their activities. They were fully included in the stretches, warm-up runs, cool downs and games with the rest of the team.

For the running portions of the training a volunteer ran alongside them and encouraged them to keep moving, even if they had to do a run-like shuffle to keep building their endurance.

“Other than that,” said Hightower, “it’s all about having a heart and patience for them.”

The culmination of their training took place during the one mile Fun Run. “I know that they have a stronger sense of confidence regarding what they can do when they set their minds to a task,” he said of their accomplishment.

The other Ready, Set, Run! teammates demonstrated their new running skills during the 11^th Annual Running Over Violence 5k event.

“It has been our goal from the very beginning of Ready, Set, Run! to get all kids running: those who are good at sports, those who think they aren’t good at sports, and everyone in between,” said Kacey Lake, Director of Ready, Set, Run! “Jared took it to another level that I hope will spread to other communities, as well.”

Not only did the youngsters realize what they were capable of themselves, but they also had the opportunity to appreciate the drive within others. “I think it instilled motivation in the other runners not to give up,” said Hightower. “The special needs runners were always in motion, therefore, they should be too.”

Click HEREfor more information about starting Ready, Set, Run! in your community and to review sample lessons from the Coordinator and Coach manuals, or email readysetrun@nays.org.

shadows

2012-01-09T18:54:00.000-08:00

with a traveling husband, i find one of the best approaches is being excited for the times that we get to be "just us girls." we always miss him. always. but when we get to be us 3, i am extra intentional about what i want to pass along as a female to my females.

(which also helps me remember all of the things that i need to be working on.....)

tonight fallon asked me "do you just want to dance, mommy girl?" this girl does NOT tire from dancing and sav seems to be picking it up. bopping while she sits.

on the list of things i want for them? comfort & confidence in being themselves. encouraging others to do the same. finding joy & intrigue in the ordinary.

free time.

2012-01-07T08:27:00.000-08:00

hi, free time. i remember you. you always seem so sweet, so coveted. until i actually have you. then you come and i just wish there was a toddler talking to me and a bambino crawling on me. after running around the university of southern mississippi twice, taking a long shower, and now sitting at my computer, i have passed only about half of the time that i'm allotted this morning/afternoon as bry is off taking pictures for the wedding party. blog i shall.

thursday: bry & i traveled to new orleans for a college friend's wedding. we went out for the evening to a charming restaurant in the french quarter with the bridal party, visited several bars with amazing music, and concluded with bourbon street. to boot, bourbon cowboy. as in, a bar on bourbon street with a mechanical bull. on all fronts, nola delivered. there is charm on every winding street, every side street, and each & every building. our run the next day took us past espn's coverage of the bowl games (sorry bry, but jesse palmer is even more handsome in person...), through the sprawling french market, next to a street brass band complete with 10 dancing children with mad, mad dance moves (fallon would've fit RIGHT in). we ended the day with po boy's and a road trip up to hattiesburg, mississippi.

and here we are. here i am.

my run today had me thinking a lot about our upcoming year. thing is, i'm a lot better at planning & anticipating the immediate future than the whole year. i think this is one reason that bry & i make such a great team. anyhoo, here's what i know...

i'm excited to get home and get another day to be the best mom i can be. there is a certain "mom guilt" that comes when you're away and you get a minute to look back and remember times that you should've been more patient. times when you should've kept your cool a little better. times i wish i could do over, but i'm grateful i'll get another chance.

i'm excited for my bible study to start back up. plug back in with my amazing group of friends, sisters, accountability partners.

i'm excited to get my work schedule back to normal, our sitter was traveling and then attending an intensive class. next week, we resume normalcy and i get solid hours of work in. i love me some routine.

i'm excited for God to reveal what He has planned for our family: growth-wise, work-wise, faith-wise.

tomorrow, we return and "free time" will become an illusion once again. i can't wait.

grid of cuteness.

2012-01-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

apparent resolutions: playing more, mischief-ing more, sleeping more, and trending more in 2012. so far, looks like we are on the right track.......

christmas. unedited.

2011-12-29T12:32:00.000-08:00

on the first day of christmas my family gave to me...

2 crawlers under the christmas tree.

3 lovies eating...

2 bookworms reading...

and 1 treasure hunt for a loooooost toy.

lots of cousins playing...

1 papa loving...

and a jeep for the kiiiids to riiiiiiiiide.

on the next day of christmas my family gave to me...

1 trip to michigan-y.

3 lovely girls...

and a gingerbreeeaaaad hoooouse coooontest.

1 giant caterpillar...

lots and lots of toys...

and a swiper whoooo loves tooooo swipe.

1 blissful grandma...

1 uncle jeff...

and quaaaaAAAAAaaaaAAAAlity time.

christmas memories.

2011-12-23T12:42:00.000-08:00

some of my favorites from the past. some of my favorites that are just now beginning.

sitting with my brothers on the stairs christmas morning while my mom took her annual video. pretending to be too cool like my brothers, but loving every minute
acting out the nativity story with our extended family. i was mary and i rode on my cousin nathan's back. he was the donkey. (thanks, aunt jill, for always being creative)
laying awake in bed on christmas eve. smiling.
fallon always answering "chocolate" for what she wants for christmas
the christmas we were engaged.
my grandpa sharing from the gospel at some point during our family get together
white tights
my parents recording "twas the night before christmas" for the grandkids. they laughed through the whole last page several times before getting it. apparently my mom gave my dad all the hard parts.
savvy crawling by the light of the christmas tree. swiping ornaments.
a white elephant christmas exchange in lake geneva, i think it was my little cousin kyle who ended up with sausages
annual dinners with my high school friends
seeing my parents with their family members, putting it all together that it used to be a family unit like our own
wrapping gifts that the girls will tear open
sirius xm "holly"
writing christmas messages to my brothers and parents on their wrapped gifts with a sharpie
playing jingle bells with a couple of bells from the tree: singing with fal, sav bopping along.
fallon's "one horse open sleeeeeeeeigh!" finale
shopping downtown with bry
planning our christmas morning. my man, our girls, our home, celebrating our Savior.

dear girls:

2011-12-20T05:26:00.000-08:00

milestones are in the air. holy smokes. without further adieu, let the documenting begin.

fallon: we began potty training just shy of 2 weeks ago. and real potty training: like take your diapers away for good, except for sleep. so far? 1 accident at home. you are rockin it, girlfriend. we are still staying on you, but we have resumed life as usual with outings and everything. so stinkin proud. you continue to crack us up with your antics and your soft & gentle heart seems to be coming through more & more. you hate when savvy is upset and you sing to her, find her toys, and always try to share whatever it is that you’re eating or drinking. you like to tell me things that we do together. “we are sitting here together, mommy.” “we’re both walking!” and you also enjoy this or that questions. “do you want the lights on or off, daddy? on or off? light or dark?” “are we going fast or slow, mommy? or medium?” you still love going to church and the gym and we are so pleased with how easy you adapt to the world around you and THRIVE in your environments. we pray together every night and you have done wonders on my prayer life. you like to pick family members, friends, and disney characters who need prayer each night. thank you for all that you are.

savvy: savvy, savvy, savvy. the crawling began about a week ago (8 ½ months old) and sister, you are on the move. ow ow! and the crawling seems to have flipped a saucy switch. you know what you want and you squawk until you get it. gotta say, I usually love it. you hold your own and you are the queen of the swipe. some of your fav swipes? the fireplace gas turner, fallon’s memory cards, books that are piled up for reading, and many other not-intended-for-savvy type things. you pulled yourself up to stand today and you’re pretty sure you should be doing that all of the time. basically, anything that gets you closer to Fallon is a good thing in your eyes. one of my favorite things is you coy smile. you do this, make a silly face and then look at me out of the corner of your eye with your gummy grin. still no teeth in that sweet little mouth. friends have been commenting that you are beginning to look a lot like me and ooo-eee does that make me proud. you are my snuggler, mama’s girl, on-the-move little love. thank you for all that you are.

christmas card regret....

2011-12-13T12:22:00.001-08:00

what have i done. in an act that (i think) is out of character i opted to NOT do christmas cards this year. i feel ebenezer just writing that. i rationalized saving money, allocating that money elsewhere, being green, being busy, blah blah blah blah blah. then last week came and i remembered just why we send christmas cards. i eagerly have gotten the mail every day over the last 2 weeks SO excited about who's card we would receive. i saw the smiling faces of little ones who i don't get to see very often and loved seeing those i see all of the time. i lingered on short words written by dear friends letting us know how God has blessed them or used them over the year.

i dropped the ball.

i feel like it's a direct parallel to what God is working in my heart right now. the things i desire to do & be aren't fully lining up with my actions. i am not doing anything that wrong, i just can't line up what my heart wants to do (sell everything and be completely used by God as a vagabond) and what my every day looks like- taking care of 2 beauties and making sure they have diapers, food, wipes, and a (somewhat) clean home. full circle: i want to be frugal but wish i would've sent our love and smiles -in the form of a christmas card- to others for christmas. where is that balance... ya dig?

my desire is to keep our family free from the love of THINGS and have our minds consumed with our ultimate mission: sharing the love of God and the good news of the gospel with others. just because we CAN afford something doesn't mean we should buy it. this here is new to me. "we should buy x house because cnn.com mortgage calculator tells us that we can afford it." God blesses us so we can give it right back to Him.

and it's good to thank God for what i have seen Him do firsthand in my own life, overcoming strongholds and sin that He graciously helps me with every single day. but what good is it really if i'm keeping it all to myself? if i'm not encouraging others, especially those close to me and overflowing with the word of God at all times. i need to share not only because God commands us to but because i have seen His mercy, forgiveness and hope.

how can i be a part of a plan that is making disciples who make disciples? what i do know? it is by far our biggest project in life with these two little munchkins. so maybe that's our christmas card. Jesus Christ was born to save the world from sin. He is our Savior. we spent this year thanking Him and asking how we can be used to further His kingdom. excited to see what next year may hold!

merry christmas from the lakes.

in all our bedhead glory!!!

lockdown.

2011-12-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

potty training has been very kind on the bank account. aside from calculating buying half as many diapers (soon), we haven't left the house in 3 days now. this is abnormal in our world. i worried at first that the lockdown would drive us crazy. and by us, i mean me. we've had a blast.

these 2 are becoming the best of buds and once again i'm amazed at how close my heart comes to bursting every single time i catch a moment between them. tenderness, patience from the older sister. awe, love from the younger.

this time of year just begs for being around the house. i wish they made a lamp that shone the light of a christmas tree so i could shine it all year round. can i get an amen?

and today brought the first snowfall of the season that BEGGED to be played in.

i gotta say, after a couple of days of lockdown and getting my work done in bits & pieces between naps & "alone play-time," when the sitter showed up today, i was ready to ska-daddle. so i tended to some christmas shopping (which kind of negates the previous "good on the bank account" thing) and got a 10 mile run in on THIS terrain. merry christmas to me :)

sharing time: i'm struggling a bit with living radically: not needing a lot of "stuff" and finding satisfaction in God alone, when it comes to getting things for the girls for Christmas (and always, really). i desire for them to be content with little and generous with everything. but envisioning the look on my little girl's face when she opens a gift of a jessie the cowgirl doll is so stinkin amazing. i think this is one of those things that will be a battle, or rather a balance-thing, forever.

here's to an amazing weekend of family, couches, a few snowballs, and laughter.

no stifling allowed!

2011-12-07T11:55:00.000-08:00

i've been working on the christmas story with fal lately. acting out the story. we have a "little people" nativity scene that she loves to play with. (side note: i can't believe there hasn't been a complaint against calling this toy line "little people.") thing is, when fal plays, mary will not stop hooking up with one of the wise men. truly. they keep riding away from the stable in a pink horse van and i often hear kissing noises going on between the 2 of them.

(that's them on the left and poor joseph is laying on the ground on the right. not staged, promise)

a fine line to draw between wanting your child to know the truth and always correcting her, stifling the creative little mind that always seems to totally make sense.

like when we walked into a lobby the other day and she SO EXCITEDLY exclaimed "A DONKEY, mommy!!!!" while pointing at the reindeer. i mean, donkeys have more to do with christmas than reindeer, right? and who wants to correct that kind of excitement. and more theologically correct excitement, at that.

or like when she asked the pediatrician today if this girl had boobies. i mean, seriously. physiologically, she's on the right track. and who's life vest is that perky.

meanwhile, this little peanut is a mover & a shaker if i've ever seen one. and trust me, i have. always up for whatever the day brings as long as she can get down on the floor and move. must not stifle creative minds. must not stifle exploring bodies.

not a fan of "busy".

2011-12-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

busy. i don't like it as an answer to "how's it going?!" and i try to avoid blaming it for things. but woo wee these past few weeks have been jam packed! (which is totally different than busy...for the record.) 2 weeks ago was michigan for thanksgiving, last week was florida for work and this week is catching up on the last 2 weeks (and promising the girls i'd never leave like that again...) the last 2 weeks have provided fun, laughter, and as always, a time of growth. in my book, that's how it's supposed to be.

saw this on some blog's and thought it would be a good way to recap. that, and i'm having a hard time bringing all of my thoughts together for one cohesive post...

CURRENTLY WE ARE...

Working on: living radically as a family

b: spiritually leading our clan & global business development at a great firm

me: TRYING to become (keyword: trying) more like Jesus as a wife/mom/woman & creating/directing/managing my i-don't-know-how-i-got-this job here

f: recognizing emotions and calming herself through fits, thinking about potty training (again), cracking us up with her amazing vocabulary & retention of e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g, sharing her toys because it's kind not because someone "had it first," reading, crafting, and running around like a crazy woman

s: crawling...oh so close!, cutting 2 bottom teeth, being a bottomless pit for solids but still just ok on that bottle, laughing, exploring hilarious facial expressions, pulling herself up to stand, bringing more joy than i thought possible to our family

Thinking about: trips to warm weather spots, ways to share the gospel of good news this Christmas- and always for that matter, gifts for loved ones, annual shopping trip to the city, time management

Anticipating: Christmas morning with the 4 of us, a weekend away in new orleans for a dear friend's wedding, the end of cold weather (already?!?! i know.), what God has for us in 2012, laughing at bry/dad during our extended family time together this month (oh. yes, i did mean at, babe.)

Listening to: the baby monitor, switching from each girls' room and their differing sound machines. kinda sounds like waves on 1 and static on the other. all else is quiet :)

Drinking: water from a camelback

Wishing: for full recovery physically & emotionally from my miscarriage, health, drive to share the gospel, full presence for in-between-moments with the family, to live fully, to add to our family

5 days, 200 pics, 1 post. oh my.

2011-11-29T10:09:00.000-08:00

pretty sure this is what thanksgiving is all about...

story time.

2011-11-21T06:47:00.000-08:00

story time has become one of our favorite times around here. "once upon a time, there was a train named 'choo-choo!' and he went up to the sky!" (that one is fallon's, not mine. i'm not nearly that creative.)

today's story came from the bible.

once upon a time, there was a little girl named SAVVY! (cue incessant laughter here.) how oh how did i get so lucky...

settling.

2011-11-18T08:36:00.000-08:00

i have officially lived in our house longer than i have lived anywhere else in the last 10 years. we've been in our house for 16 months. between college, transferring to school in the city, hopping apartments in chicago, a stint in paris, back to chicago, down to florida, swapping condo to house in florida, it has been a whirlawind. i have been feeling a bit of unrest recently- where to next, babe? do they need us in hong kong for awhile? australia? should we go back to the city? yesterday settled me a bit.

after a trip to the gym and spending 20 minutes in the lounge area talking to various friends i bumped into BEFORE even beginning my run, then leaving to too late to be able to take up a friend on lunch, singing to sirius channel 17 HOLLY in the car, and arriving at our home which was bumped up to 74 degrees for the day (it was cold, yo!) my heart settled a little.

top that off with a day of cleaning under couches, making granola, helping my little girl learn to use the potty, and our house was feeling pretty perfect. savvy sits up and plays with fal and i'm able to get stuff done with 2 hands. 2 hands! i felt like wonderwoman. i answered some work emails during naptime and suddenly i wanted to wrap my hands so tight around the way things are right now and never let go.

i'm softening. i'm feeling less like i need to be something, go somewhere, change the situation. i still feel (REALLY!) open to whatever God may call us to, but i feel myself wondering if God's calling us to stay put for awhile? (gasp.) plug in and nurture these amazing relationships that keep coming our way. my heart is so full. maybe it's too bloated to be the wild horse that wants to be on the run? wiiiiiild, wild horses

and speaking of softening: guess who got a slide in her room?! i didn't want her to lose the glider to savvy and not have something awesome that she loved in there! and boy does she love it. up there for big chunks of time by herself and i wonder why i didn't do this months ago.

the little peanut? she has taken more naps in the crook of mommy's arm and transferred to the big bed than i'd like to admit. with fal i was all "she needs to learn to sleep and i'm a good mom for teaching her and empowering her and blah blah blah." while i wouldn't change a thing about that, i can't put my finger on what is making me all "aw, she just needs a cuddle for a few min and my arm is just her favorite place to be and it calms me too and on and on and on." amazing how the love in your heart can be the same but the way it comes out can change as you go. don't know if it's softening or adjusting per kid? either way it makes me happy and it makes me laugh at myself.

bryon always gives me a hard time that i have a stone cold heart and it takes A LOT to make me cry. (i try to muster up tears at sad things all of the time). well guess what baby, there's a softening and settling going on!! look out cheesy movie, you're next.

futons & such

2011-11-15T09:09:00.000-08:00

last night i bit off more than i could chew. i really wanted to get the futon that was suffocating savvy's room (which happens when your baby comes a month early and you makeshift a nursery) OUT of her room. she's coming up on 8 months old and i decided the futon needed to be out. and stat. it's a big futon that served as bryon's couch & bed during his wild bachelor years...(hard not to laugh at both couch/bed resourcefulness and "wild")

thing is, the futon needed to be up on it's side in order to fit out the door. and then once in the hallway, needed to be lifted over the railing of the stairwell in order to fit in the extra bedroom. and the bed & dresser needed to be moved in that other bedroom in order to fit the futon. then the glider from fal's room needed to make it's way to savvy's room and a slide needed to take the place in fallon's room. top this off with a "helpful" 2 year old and "wants to be held" 7 month old. i'm tired just recapping.

mama got it done. and had a little revelation about these 2 cuties along the way.

her "monkey" face

sometimes these girls get their minds set on something and i try to change it. i rush fallon into the house when she wants to explore climbing in & out of her car seat by herself. i try to hand savvy a rattle when she really wants to play with the water bottle that i want to drink from. i rush to put fallon's coat on her so we can get out the door instead of allowing her to "do it myself, mommy" through tears and rushing. i don't get why these girls get something in their heads and cannot be talked out of it!!! ........then i have a night like last night.

we don't have much of an agenda for the afternoon. what IS on the agenda is exploring and taking our time and encouraging my girls to go after what they want. to explore and take too long and remind me to be patient. cause sometimes futons just need to be moved.

then we will probably lay around, watch cartoons & go to sleep. rearranging our second floor is really hard work.

weekend recap

2011-11-14T08:19:00.000-08:00

savvy girl had a big weekend. in the last 2 days she has perfected: sitting up on her own, an awesome spitting noise followed by a proud smile, grabbing my face and pulling it into her own, and this hilarious "ya-ya-ya-ya" chant while chomping her gums up & down. i always say how she is coming into her own and this weekend was no exception. she is feisty, determined, and when she gets her eye on something, there is no distracting her. she rolls around the room and i'm certain will be crawling before long. still as sweet as ever in her demeanor, content doing pretty much anything.

fal gal? she's her own 1-woman show. she loves to make believe that her little toy figures/babies/whatever-she-can-get-a-hold-of are a family: "this is the mommy, this is the daddy, and this is the baby. watch your head on the ceiling, daddy! oh, you don't have to cry baby, i'm right here!"

her vocabulary and ability to participate in conversation is incredible. just when i think she isn't listening, she repeats or answers a question that was not even asked to her. and oh, the catch phrases are to die for...

a common reply: "yes, i do." not yes, not yeah, not mm-hmm. "yes, i do."

"no thanks, i'm good."

"i wanna pray for ONE MORE person." "how about ONE MORE person." "just ONE MORE person, mom."

"good morning, sunshine. what would you like for breakfast, baby? did you have a good sleep?" (and many more routines with her baby that i regularly do with her.)

"i need this for work, mommy." (oops, better be careful with that one)

"hey fal!" "como estas, mommy."

oh how i wish i kept this list during the day while it was happening, i could blog for days.

and me? i wish i could have the weekend back. don't get me wrong, it was a GREAT couple of days spent at lake geneva with my parents. they graciously and selflessly loved on the girls, gave my arms a break, and hosted us with their always open-arms. this monday morning, i picked up my bible that had not been used in days. i engaged in some quiet reflective time and i felt my body, soul, attitude, mind fill up with the joyful Spirit that God promises us. i reflected on a good weekend but one that i could have been much more PRESENT and positive and pouring out God's love. i'm thankful for a reminder that i need God's strength every single day and i'm thankful for another day to do it all again. you know how there are some people who talk about not being aware of their own sin and shortcomings? i'm not one of those lucky kind of people....

that said, got some good runs in around the lake, bought an insanely potent christmas tree candle that i'm VERY excited about, and enjoyed days filled with raking leaves & napping with my baby and evenings filled with reading, fires, and wine. sounds like my evenings were out of a nicholas sparks novel, rest assured, there was no husband rubbing my feet or jazz playing in the background. the only sparks were from the fake logs in the fire.

and this handsome fella has kept us entertained with pictures, emails, and hilarious stories of: taxi's kicking him out of the car, interesting characters YELLING chinese "cheers" to and about him, encounters with the chinese military, and so much more. as usual, he's thriving, encouraging us, and making us laugh. he doesn't exactly blend in with the locals..... we had face-time over the weekend and i haven't stopped thinking about his dimples and broad shoulders since. i digress :)

a blessed monday to all!

2 year old video, 2 months late....

2011-11-10T07:54:00.000-08:00

steady.

2011-11-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

when emotions are close to the surface, it's harder to be steady. as someone who usually feels fairly steady, this feeling awakens/surprises/empowers me. i remember when sav was in the NICU and i had these late-night drives home: alone, speeding, windows open, heart raw, feeling so alive. there is something so invigorating about heartache. i find my mind wandering about how we lost our baby, and i can't stop crying. then i kiss the bridge on savvy's nose or fallon runs up and hugs me for no reason and gives me one of her signature back pats, and my heart could burst from joy.

there have been waves of sadness and waves of feeling good. waves of complete trust in God's plan and waves of wishing He would have just given me what i wanted, to hold our baby and add to our family as we had planned. waves of total distraction, like trick or treating with our 2 angels and thanking God for the promise that what He has planned for us is better than we could ever dream up. and i rest. i hug.

these 2 want to be by each other at all times. savvy is always reaching for fal or straining her neck to see what big sis is up to. which is really challenging when i'm trying to spoon sweet potatoes into her mouth. i mean, cheek or ear. and fal gal still wants to hold savvy all of the time. "how about you put savvy here and i hold her?" many sentences start with "how about" these days. quite comical. "how about some milk please mommy?" "how about a few more minutes?" hard not to crack a smile at her sweet negotiating voice.

"psst. hey, you two".....

tomorrow bry leaves for china for 10 days. i think i am going to miss him more than usual this time. this whole emotions close to the surface thing makes my usual missing even more missing-er. the goal is to focus more on the enjoying-er aspect of enjoying the girls and our special time together. supporting our man together, from far away. bry prays over us each time before he leaves. i can't imagine a better warrior bringing our requests to Him. i look forward to seeing how God will wow us during this raw, less steady time.

doing things like impromptu playtimes in the backyard. with yogurt on faces, messy braids, and grass being dug out of gummy little mouths. our week is pretty scheduled full of distractions- taking friends up on "if you need anything"s and spending a couple of nights with grandma & papa. we will do face-time with dad and fal will proudly tell everyone that her daddy is in CHI-na. we will hug & cuddle and be ok with watching nightly cartoons and sharing our dinner out of 1 big bowl.

it's always so sweet until it ends in a headlock. and it always ends in a headlock....

here's to a week of headlocks and "gentle!"s.

picture delay

2011-11-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

2 weekend's ago (which feels like a lifetime......) we had our annual turkey fry at lake geneva. my uncle gerry prayed before we stuffed ourselves. thanked God for the invention of family and extended family and how it all works together. amen.

loss.

2011-10-30T07:13:00.000-07:00

in times of heartache, brokenness, confusion and sadness is when our God truly shines. to find any sense of comfort or peace when your heart literally feels broken to pieces, is one of the most awesome parts of serving the God that we serve. there are no words that can comfort a mom & a dad during the loss of a baby except the promise from our Lord Almighty that He in all things works for the good of those who love Him, and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). we lost baby #3.

it's still fresh, raw, painful. i write to share our faith during the midst of this wrenching heartache. i write to document this time for our children, that they may find comfort in our Lord as they experience challenges, trials, and pains down the road. we have been SURROUNDED by notes of encouragement, acts of service (my parents took the girls for 2 nights), cards of prayer & support, flowers to brighten the room, and so much more. i am humbled by the support and look forward to "paying it forward" for the rest of my life.

we surprisingly ended up in the ER on thursday night. on top of grieving the loss of our baby, there was physical pain and mental anguish of what occurred at the hospital. for a few days, i have been on very restrictive movement and sentenced to the couch. this has led to the occasion playing on repeat in my head. "finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things" (ph 4:8).

i have not yet learned how to properly grieve, recover or how God will use this for our best and for furthering His Kingdom. there are times in the day where i feel His absolute comfort & presence and then there are moments where i feel lost, like i don't know what to do with myself or the hours/days/weeks that are ahead. we trust in the Lord and we thank the Lord for what He has given us- the amazing blessings and the challenges He allows in order to strengthen us and fully use us.

best time of day

2011-10-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

sitting in this chair together has become part of our morning routine. fal insists and it is so sweet for 3 or 4 minutes until savvy tips over and fallon "helps" her get back up. lemme jus say, savvy is one tough cookie. big sis reads to lil sis, lil sis looks at big sis with her huge, adoring eyes, big sis & lil sis rock together and giggle. i kinda get to be a fly on the wall because they really forget i'm there.

some of my other favorite memories recently include:

making yeast bread with fallon. she stood on a chair at the counter for a good hour (stealing licks off the discarded spatulas, drinking the remaining drips of milk out of the measuring cup) i'm not a huge baker/cooker, i do it, but it's far from my escape. but this particular day was really special, and making something from scratch with the help of little toddler hands and inquisitive questions & eyes is one of my favorite memories yet.

evening rituals. we were asked one too many nights in a row for toy story, so bry set some ground rules. dinner, books, then a 20 min indulgence in toy story 3. fal & bry cuddle on the couch (and sneak candy corn) and sav & i work on a last feed/jammies/sleep routine. it's become routine and i like me routine.

memorizing savvy's smile. her whole body smiles. her eyes light up, her legs kick out, and her shoulders ride up a bit. she just got over a cold, ear infection, fever and the only difference was that she smiled a little less. she's just plain happy and makes us happy.

it's been good memory-making-days this fall. off this weekend to the annual early thanksgiving turkey fry up at lake geneva with family. fun, fun times.

funny girl

2011-10-19T13:14:00.000-07:00

bryon & i watched this video, oh, 30 times last night and could not stop laughing. to interpret: she is saying "jaguar" well, "jag-WA!" and those moves you can interpret for yourself.

she's just behind bryon in people that make me laugh most in the world.

life as the pig

2011-10-17T08:55:00.000-07:00

olivia the pig is fallon's current cartoon of choice. (such a welcome relief from little einstein's and special agent oso!) olivia is a spunky little thing who has confidence, naivety, and a free spirit that is both endearing and admirable. she has an idea to run a lemonade stand and she opens an entire restaurant. she attends a fashion show and decides to become a designer- dressing up for grilled cheese dinners and hosting her own show for friends & family. i'm not going to lie, i relate to olivia all too well...

there are so many things i want to be doing. and doing better. i want to cook fancy dinners, i want to blog & document memories more, i want to have traditions with my girls- like that one time we pretended like we were camping on the floor in the living room, i want longer runs and i want to qualify for boston next year, i want my small group to be a dynamic place for women where we open up & encourage & connect, i want my running program to capture the WORLD, i want to evangelize and share with the world the amazing work that Jesus Christ has done in my life, i want to travel & bring the kids everywhere we go (yes, even that 20 hour plane ride to australia), sometimes i want to live in new york city and thrive in the buzz and sometimes i want to buy a big ole farm in the country and grow our own food & bake our own bread, i could go on.

then i have a captured moment like yesterday, where bry was pushing savvy in the swing & i was pushing fal. giggles, coo's, and "faster!s" were being had. everything falls by the wayside. i hush olivia the pig inside of me and i relax and enjoy what is happening right in the moment.

sometimes i need a reminder to slow down & savor.

"where's daddy?" "china."

2011-10-11T13:19:00.000-07:00

exhausted, i crawled into bed last night and heard a crinkle underneath me. toy? baby paper? organic fruit strip wrapped? please, not a diaper... nope. love letter from my amazing husband. our hero, our leader, our best friend.

My adorable and adored, I have been asking myself every moment if such happiness is not a dream. It seems to me that what I feel is not of earth. I cannot yet comprehend this cloudless heaven.
My whole soul is yours.

ok, a little less victor hugo, a little more bry guy. his words touched & energized me more than he'll ever know. bry is in china this week and i'm reflective on how much this time ends up blessing our family.

his work success is nothing short of astounding and i can't even put into words how proud i am, we are. he prays over us before he goes and we cheer for him while he's gone. his prayer helps me bring my a-game a little more when he's gone. cause face it, with a 2 year-old, a 6-month old and 1 in the belly, i need it.

and this time? i negotiated a new car. we chatted on the phone during the process and he sent me encouraging text messages to channel my inner gus (cartel, drug-lord from breaking bad...) but i am standing proud on my accomplishment. got the number we wanted and i don't care what color red my face turned when i asked several times for a lower price and for the sales guy to "check with his manager."

and a major thanks to grandma who made this possible without the girls! (with the enthusiasm, grace, pumpkin decorating kit and love that she always, ALWAYS brings)

right now i think God is teaching me what it means for ME to be a follower of Jesus Christ. "the world isn't hungry for more christians, the world is hungry for more people who are listening & responding to the call of God in their lives." (priscilla shirer). in my small group (all women, all young moms), i'm intrigued how we all read the same text and relate on such very different levels. i am learning that God has given me the struggles & challenges that He has chosen for his divine purposes. we all have a different set of strengths. a different set of weaknesses.

we all excel at different things at different times, and this is ok. i wake up every morning praising God that i am happy & healthy and that God is giving me this day. this wasn't always the case. i'm so inherently sinful and by the grace of God, i am being molded more into His image and this makes my heart flutter.

i like this picture. not because it is in the least way flattering, but because fallon took it without me knowing. what i do know- i was folding laundry and she was supposedly playing monkey lunchbox on my phone...and we were singing "doe a deer." a candid moment caught by a 2-year old.

all that said, right now i am confident as a mom/solo parent running the home. tomorrow, probably not. i am not struggling with worry or trusting God, but i do struggle with impatience and gentle words when i've been whined against all day. no matter what God has put on our challenge plates, it's ok. here's to allowing it to mold us into something better.

my kind of tuesday

2011-10-04T13:26:00.000-07:00

i haven't been feeling well. like laying-on-the-floor-is-the-best-sounding-option, not feeling well. 1st trimester never felt so rough, and considering it was only 12 months and also 33 months ago, i should remember. there is a good thing there is an adorable little baby at the end of all this. i would be sick for life if that's what it took. (thank you God that it doesn't.)

that said, today was a better day. and i enjoyed it.

usually sav is up first, so we get some good snuggle & smile time. when big sis wakes, savvy waits for us downstairs and gets down right giddy when fallon approaches. "good MORNING, baby sav!" today, fal gal learned to drink the milk out of her cereal bowl. and had 3 servings.

the beautiful weather called for outside play and stat. no time for such things as pants or hair brushes. we got our play on.

during savvy's morning nap, fallon & i laid on the ground and played with flashlights up on the ceiling. this was well-received by my giggling toddler. i have been a bit of a wet towel mom, as in "aw, doesn't it sound fun to lay on the couch and read?" so the good day called for fun mom. we laughed and shhh-ed and laughed, since savvy was sleeping and all. once lil sis was up, it was off to the park.

and lil sis got her swing on. she gets this little glimmer in her eye when she knows she's being a big deal. (first picture below.) i love it and have engraved it on the inside of my eyelids. her bubbly little personality is coming through. she SQUAWKS when we take a toy away from her and insists on grabbing her sister's hair and going in for open-mouth kisses.

the girls spent the afternoon with kara, and i rushed off to get a couple hours of work in along with a 6 mile run. must take advantage of feeling well. by the time i got home, fal was ready to be outside and literally dragged me by the pant leg. so we layed and we played and we went on a walk with our neighbor and their little boy.

savvy is getting such great core strength & fal's curiosity just grows and grows. she couldn't quite blow the fuzzies off of the weed, but waving it in the air towards mom proved to be very, very funny. i'm still picking them out of my hair/teeth/ears.

every day i watch the relationship between these 2 blossom. it is easily the most beautiful thing i've ever experienced.

we ended the night splitting a bowl of ina garden's tomato bisque soup, thanks to ashley and my own re-creation of the whole foods market salad. and last but not least, watching & singing along to the sound of music. she asks for it by name. we fast forward to all of the singing scenes. i LOVE it.

it all feels cheesy to write, not gonna lie. but it was a good day. definitely my kind of tuesday.

patient post

2011-09-29T12:46:00.000-07:00

i have been patiently waiting for the right time to post. in documenting our memories and the things that go on in our family, i like to capture them right then. right in the moment to remember just how we felt. but then there's that whole make sure things are in order before blabbing our business. you know, the rational side that i so often don't like looking at.

that said, we are in a good place to publicize.

we are feeling good, things are looking healthy, we have concluded that we are not certifiably insane, we just like life on the edge. so without further adieu, i am here to announce that come next may, baby lake #3 will join our family! may 6 to be exact (although based on our last performance, eh em savvy, we have learned to take due dates a little less seriously)

what's that? wasn't i just pregnant? yup. this time last year. what's that? does that make them all somehow irish triplets? nope. fallon will be 2 1/2 and savvy will be 13 months. that's like forever in kid years. ...right? have we stopped laughing since we found out the news? not really. we are so excited and so tickled/shocked/(insert hard-to-describe word here) that it happened so quickly. i met the little peanut during an ultrasound today and all is well & beautiful.

however, the certifiably insane part could change in a couple of months for bryon when we find out the gender.....

total estrogen domination?!

lately.

2011-09-26T08:46:00.000-07:00

lately we've enjoyed falling into our fall routine. here are some of our recent happy times...

saturday mornings at the gym. slowly waking up, enjoying coffee/milk/cartoons and then making our way for a family date the to gym. the weekends at the lake have ceased and the fall routine has taken their place. bry & i enjoy a workout, the girls get some social time in the awesome childcare and we all meet back at the house for football games, chicken chili (when i'm really on my game), and a low-key day just being us.

3 girls, 1 big girl bed. lately when fal has been getting up from her afternoon nap, savvy & i have been crawling in there with her. we usually read books, watch rio on the iphone, tell stories, or try to make savvy laugh. it's special and i love it.

late bedtimes. we have gotten into this habit of allowing the girls to stay up way past their "bedtimes." the issue is, 7-8 is like, their prime-time. fallon plays with her toys and makes us laugh with her phrases, savvy lies on the ground trying to roll to fallon or big shot, all the while yelling & carrying on. we just don't want to put them to bed.

planning trips to warm weather. this winter is scaring me much more than last year's. fresh from florida, i was ready for the christmas snow & festivities that come along. then i was reminded that it goes on for 4 months too long. i have enjoyed planning weekends to warm weather and living in excitement of the escape to sunshine. nothing like the sun hitting your skin after months of bitter cold.

introducing fallon to comfort foods. fallon: meet soup, hot chocolate, warm apple cider, chicken pot pie, pumpkin bread... this list shall continue and i shall enjoy her sweet little excitement. there is nothing better than how very excitable toddlers are. "hey fal, wanna try some waaaarm cider?!" "umm, YES! (giggle, giggle, giggle)"

chik-fil-a. don't know if its the waffle fries, the play area, or the cows, but we can't get enough.

and...one awesome case of bed head.

talkin bout a revolution.

2011-09-22T12:53:00.000-07:00

fallon has been talking for a long time. paragraphs long. however, she is currently finding her voice. my sweet girl's "ok, mommy"s have slowly been changing into "NOOOO!"s. girlfriend is staging a revolution against all-rules-placed-on-toddlers, and i am the monarchy/system/whatever that is being revolted against.

i remember when i lived in paris and we visited a museum during one of our french civilization courses. we noticed that all of the noses were knocked off of the statues and the tombs of the french leaders we were learning about. "ooo, yesss." replied our french french teacher. "deees is de work of de rebels." apparently during the french revolution, radicals knocked off the noses of the statutes to say eh-em to the man.

if we had statues around the house, they would be noseless.

fallon?

the good thing is, i know many mom's of 2 year olds and find encouragement in our stories. the camaraderie that comes amongst toddler mothers is special and sacred. i'm a big fan of time spent with other mom's and count myself blessed to be part of such a special women's group filled to the gills with young mom's.

fallon & savvy, if & when the Lord gives you a child and that child turns 2. i pray that you will find encouragement and companionship in other mom's and each other. that you will know that you are doing a fantastic job, doing the very best you can. while our success cannot always be measured by the way our toddler handles a situation that she or he doesn't particularly desire, we can be measured by the amount of love that we pour into these tiny little souls. i pray that you will tell stories that trump your friends on the fit that was thrown, and then you'll laugh together and your hearts will swell as you think about how much you love your little radical. that you will grow in humility and maturity and patience and rely on God to help you in all of the above categories, cause honey's, you cannot do it alone.

life is comical round these parts. fal enjoys playing in her new tent, hide & seek, standing on a chair at the island while we make banana bread, playing "house" with her doll house, going on dates to get chocolate milk with mama, and anything that involves rough-housing with daddy. savvy girl is rolling like crazy, reaching for anything that comes close- particularly her sister. she stills sleeps wrapped up like a burrito and loves flinging those arms in the air when she wakes up. she LOVES her oatmeal, sweet potatoes, peas, carrots, and really any solid food we've presented her with- still just OK on the bottle so we're thrilled with the food consumption. cannot. spoon. in. fast. enough.

the revolution will go on, i'm sure of it. and as one who likes to do things a little differently, i gotta support the spitfire. i can't help but grin (sometimes) when she gets as close as possible to doing what i tell her not to do (eh em, touch the dog food, climb on the back of the couch, run her hands along the dirty car) and observe her learning to express herself.

party

2011-09-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

as a parent, there is nothing better than when people love on your kids. we saw that a lot this weekend as family poured in for fal gal's birthday celebration- extra squeezes from aunts & uncles, squeals from best-bud-cousins, and on-the-ground action from loving grandparents. fallon floated & savvy beamed for 2 days straight.

sunday evening, we had both sides of our families over for some giordano's pizza, playing in the basement, homemade chocolate cake, and most importantly- celebrating our little 2 year old.

my favorite moment of the night was fallon's face when her favorite people in the world were all looking at her and singing for her. bashful & proud and so very happy.

as i sit here on monday afternoon and the girls sleep soundly in their rooms, i can't help but think about how much joy they have brought into our lives. i always tell bryon, as rough as the day sometimes feels, i genuinely miss them when they are sleeping at night. the light that they shine into the room and our lives astounds me and i cannot get enough. as i said, there are certainly days when i feel as though another whine/fuss/fit/"no" may send me over the edge into insanity. i don't think the good would be as good without that.

and this tuesday as i edit this post, there were many more "edge of insanity" moments than not. thank you, dear blog, for enabling me to read back through and switch my perspective back to that of thanks. & smiling, quiet pictures ;)

two.

2011-09-15T08:29:00.000-07:00

for the last 6 months or so, when asked how old she was fallon would reply with a very matter-of-fact "two." this led to funny moments with strangers when they would believe her and talk to me about their 2 year old or how tall fal is for 2, all the while i am not making eye contact because my daughter just lied about her age. at 18 months old, 6 months is a pretty big chunk.

i'm really happy our daughter finally turned two. for many reasons, not just the aforementioned honesty issue.

some statistical memories: 32 lbs, 2 oz 96%. 37 in, 99.6 %. her speech and syntax had our pediatrician chuckling. "clearly, she speaks well..." sleeps in a big girl bed. loves to watch olivia the pig cartoon. navigates the iphone & ipad like an apple care worker. counts to 20 in english, 10 in espanol. says the alphabet and sings many songs- real & made-up. carries her baby doll everywhere. everywhere. insists on drinking her milk in a buzz lightyear cup with a pink top. doesn't like when she gets a fuzzy in her mouth.

we spent the day celebrating our little spitfire. a christmas light lit birthday sign greeted us as we walked down the stairs. by request, we made blueberry pancakes for breakfast.

we ran through the rain to all of our day's destinations, well i ran through the rain holding a VERY giggly 2-year old. we sat by a warm fire at panera and enjoyed "ummm bagel & chocolate milk."

we played with grandma. birthday girl napped, mom frosted cupcakes. we watched olivia cuddled on the couch.

dad got home and we made a bee-line for chik-fil-a while chanting. chik-fil-A, chik-fil-A! finally, home for cupcakes & presents. running shoes & a doll house, the perfect blend for our little tomcat. it was a day well-spent.

when we put her down, we had to pray twice and i'm pretty sure it's because we spent the prayer thanking God for our little girl, and she liked the way that sounded. "pray more, mommy?" um, yep.

the light that fallon shines into our lives cannot be put into words. when she (read: dad) finally blew out her candle and DOVE into her (read: their) cupcake(s), we asked her how old she was. and I AM NOT KIDDING....

two. and a half.

layers

2011-09-08T12:24:00.001-07:00

today's before nap entertainment was hunting for a fall wreath. i noticed in the car ride over to home goods how much more fun errands are getting with fallon these days. (well, some days...) i've spent the last week talking about fall weather and how pretty autumn is. when we got out of the car today, it was "ooooh. it's windy. so beautiful, mommy." whether she likes it or not, this girl is getting my appreciation for the change of seasons. bryon's been grunting how he can't believe it's only labor day and our weekend at the lake was spent in sweats & long sleeve shirts. kids pretending their in a boat but instead their on a couch.

just like on the real boat, graham is planning how to get overboard.

maybe it's good that she gets this one from me...

i am a fan of open windows and fresh air dancing throughout the house. long walks outside with no worries of heat exhaustion or sunburn. layers of sweaters, leg warmers, t-shirts and leggings. shopping for fall boots & jackets online. (i can't be the only one who adds everything into my cart with no intention of actually buying it all..?) and oh, the runs. running with crisp air filling & leaving my lungs is enough to make me bring a jar and capture this 68-degree weather forever. love me some fleece-footed jammies that beg to be cuddled. sitting around an evening fire experiencing my little girls watching their great-grandma dancing. on another note, we taught great-grandma to fist bump/blow it up this weekend.

this fall we kick off a new bible study in jonah and i have the awesome responsibility of leading our small group of women. fall is the kick-off for many of my Ready, Set, Run sites and feedback from kids completing 5k's will be rolling in soon. fall is the season for birthday's: fal's, bry's, mine. this all adds up to extra time with family & friends. it's a season of celebrating, it's a season of freshness.

one of my favorite spots in our house is at the kitchen sink. it faces a corner with big windows that meet together on each side. the windows open outwards when you twist the handle and the cool air & sunshine pour in together. as i live more and decide what i really want in a house one day, this sink is included.

the spot in the house captures the moment and some of my goals as a mom/wife/woman this season: open my arms out wide without any inhibitions and enjoy the juxtaposition of beauty that comes in.

sisters

2011-09-03T18:05:00.000-07:00

i remember one christmas when i was growing up, i asked for a sister for christmas. more than that, i found a picture from the foster home that our church worked with and i picked out a little girl. how sure i was that i would be getting a little sister is a testament to how much my parents gave of themselves in order to make us happy.

growing up with 2 older brothers has been one of my favorite things in the world, i love(d) being a little sister and know it has made me who i am. but in the moment, a sister seemed like it would complete things.

the very first words out of fal gal's mouth every morning are: "hi mommy. where'd savvy go?" she's always waiting downstairs for us and the gooey, gummy smile she greets us with makes us all laugh. the sisterly bond that's forming is tense, and i feel blessed to be an observer.

only positive words about and to savvy have come out of fallon's mouth since the little babe came in and changed her world. it's truly astounding. she brings her toys (and lets her play with them for half a second before taking them back..), runs for her nuk when she cries, offers her a bite or sip of whatever she's consuming, and loves to lay on the ground next to her.

and nothing entertains savvy like watching her big sis. her big eyes get even bigger when fal approcahes. she reaches for her and tries to get as close as possible- the aforementioned gooey, gummy smile beaming. i tell fallon that savvy is trying to tickle her when she's reaching like that and fal forces a sweet little pity laugh. big sis is working on the support system already.

i'm staying out of the room for longer bits and trusting them alone together more. they're both growing- sav in size & strength and fal in her gentleness & boundaries. while it's still our lake girl trio, it's definitely becoming a strong sister duo.

in hindsight, i wouldn't change a thing about my upbringing and my only girl in the family-ness, but it sure is fun to live vicariously through our daughters. when we found out savvy was a girl, i received so many neat texts, emails, stories from girlfriends who said they were stronger women because of their sisters. thank you, God, for our 2 strong little girls.

cali.

2011-08-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

last wednesday night i laid in bed listing the things that needed to be done before i would be able to leave the girls with my parents so bry & i could celebrate our 5-year anniversary. baths for all, pack suitcases, try on a dress or 2 that i would wear out on a date (gasp!), go for a double-bob run, blog about my honey and how much better life is with him as my partner, and make sure to get every bit of playtime out of the chicas.

instead? i spent thursday morning in the er with fal gal for a potential fracture in her ankle. fairly anti-climatic: her ankle is perfectly fine, i think she slept with it twisted in her rod iron "big girl bed." her ploy to get us to stay home almost worked. almost.

we did northern cali. we celebrated what it's like to be us. we missed our girls and were so excited to come back, refreshed, to our home. we started in san fran and worked our way up through sausalito and ended in sonoma.

we drove and drove and drove. we listened to songs that will now remind us of our anniversary trip. we yelled over the wind tunnel aka convertible, and i felt thankful again for my short hair.

we shopped and ate chicken chili at a local cafe. we stopped eagerly at the first street vendor to get ADORABLE hand-made animal knit caps for the girls. then saw the same knit caps on every single street corner. tourists...

we slowly crossed the golden gate and then zipped up & down mountains. in and out of san francisco fog. beautiful homes nestled in mountains on one side, the bay on the other. a truly GORGEOUS part of the world.

we got ice cream at lappert's in sausalito and enjoyed it as we walked the downtown area and watched a guy balance rocks on each other. the rock part was a lot cooler than it sounds.

then we arrived in sonoma. up there in my top 3 places in the world with paris & bermuda. the charming downtown, the SPRAWLING vineyards, the awesome running path, the care of homes/yards, and (in my opinion the most important) the friendliness.

we went on a cave tour, did some tastings, opted to skip tastings and lay by the pool/fire/patio. we slept in and started the mornings with running or biking.

we smiled for cheesey pictures. me: "ok babe, look into my eyes and smile for a sec." him: "(sigh)" camera timer: "beep, beep, beep, beeeeeep."

we laughed and we flirted and we stayed up late with no responsibility. bryon makes fun of me for always buying 2 of things: lamps, bookshelves, coffee creamers, etc. i can't help it, i like 2's of things. it's symmetrical, it's enjoyable, it's comforting.

one of our tastings was at gudlach bundschu. (gun, lock, bun, shoe). they have had a family business there for 153 years. the tour was all about the family. while we aren't winemakers, it definitely gets me thinking about the things we will pass on with our family. the faith, the values, the memorable stories. when bry & i go away together, we reconnect. we never were disconnected, but the symmetry just gets stronger. this is one thing i want to pass on.

we missed our girls like crazy. watched iphone videos of them often and ooh-ed and aah-ed at every picture my parents sent, every little kid we saw that reminded us of something they do, or anytime a story about them came up. which happened often.

cali, we will be back. as a couple, as a family!

toddlerisms.

2011-08-19T10:37:00.001-07:00

we decided on chipotle after church on sunday. it's always a big decision: list the options, rule out a few, talk about where you've eaten recently, finally hone in on one. this sunday, chipotle won out. bry went through the line and i kept the girls entertained at the table. i hear, "you want sour cream babe?" "yeah, a little." "yeah, a little." "cheese?" "yes, cheese." "yes, cheese." "guac?" "on the side." "on the side." then a chuckle from the lady in line behind him. you see, that echo? that would be fal gal. we probably would not have noticed if the lady hadn't chuckled and winked at our daughter. i am loving the toddlerisms that are pouring out of our little lady's mouth these days.

mommy mom. (what she calls me)

piggle back ride.

whatcha cooking fal? "some ham."

tomato sirens.

cool chair, mom.

i'm going on a run.

oh. my. goodness.

actually it's an airplane.

actually it's a donkey. kind of a horse.

kids' kids' kids.

2011-08-15T18:09:00.000-07:00

i had a whole bunch of deep stuff written for this post. like, crazy deep, thought-provoking stuff. then i scrolled through the pictures to place them in between paragraphs, and it just didn't go. this weekend we spent time with great grandma. a post with great grandma deserves words on sentiment and love. words that uplift and remind us how special it is to spend time with family.

great grandma bought the girls melissa & doug cupcake sets. so stinkin' cute. she let us know that cupcakes are very "in" right now. great grandma's got mad style that i plan to channel as a great grandma, myself. when our kids' kids have kids. holy smokes.

we're in this routine of vacationers by weekend, workers by week. sunday afternoon, we took a family nap at home. i held our littler one in my arm nook. she hasn't slept there in awhile, sleep training and all. still fits perfectly. we had a little layer of mom/daughter sweat between us. if i could bottle it up, i would.

grandma & savvy have a special snuggle spot, too. when grandma isn't chasing the older girls around, she is holding this one. kathy ann is savvy ann's namesake. a bond that will join them forever.

"fee-fi-fo-fum..." is heard all over the cottage when g-pa enters a room. "where is that little one?" followed by girlie giggles and the pitter-patter of toddler feet as they run away.

every once in awhile bry & i talk about missing florida and living by the ocean. this summer we have thought it more often as we reminisce how we had beautiful weather every day, not just for 4 months of the year. then we talk about how much time our girls have spent with cousins. sunshine & ocean breeze got nothing on that.

these little ladies have grown up a lot this summer. i have a feeling great grandma status will be here before i know it.

seefood

2011-08-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

big cousins teach little cousins cool things.

Make your own animation

summer weekends

2011-08-09T09:44:00.000-07:00

are made for lake house living. we have gotten into our routine: friday day we pack up the crew's stuff, friday afternoon we load the crew into the family volvo and head to our destination, saturday & sunday we swim, boat, play, dine at local joints, grill, laugh, & make memories. monday it's back to life until all of the sudden it's friday again and we begin to pack. it's our routine and it's a blast.

these 3. oy. what fun, what mischief, what memories...

summer, you've been so sweet. do you mind asking winter to take the year off?

i don't consider myself a fearful person. it's not that i'm brave, i just don't worry about things much. i probably should more, in fact. anyways, lately i've had this fear of how quickly time is passing and how fast my little baby girls are growing. i know all mom's say this, but i can't believe how quickly every hour of every day goes by. it's like nothing i've ever experienced before. i love it and fear it all at the same time.

in growth news: savvy baby went in for her 4month appt and blew us away. 25 1/2 in long and in the 84 percentile! up from the wee little 10th percentile. you go sister. and weighed 14# 3 oz in the 53 percentile, still a bit of peanut but certainly growing! the doc was thrilled with her neck strength, eye contact, non-stop smile and so impressed with her tenacity to stand up. month early, shmonth early. this mama couldn't be prouder.

and this little rascal? she is just the dickens, i tell you. she will be 2 next month. she counts to 20 in english, 10 in spanish, and regularly sings made-up songs. we laugh often about how much of a cliche she is with her messy eating, giggles at toots, repetition of phrases "she wants the b-u-t-t-e-r for her corn." "i want the b-u-t-t-e-r, daddy." and how she regularly swings from insane laughter to all out tantrum. her intensity is hilarious. and by hilarious i also mean just-might-drive-me-crazy.

the summer has been a blast. the moments and memories keep comin and i keep trying to be present in and document all of them. this weekend? off to the in-laws cottage. can't wait!!

"i need a vacation."

2011-08-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

usually when we want to get fal excited about things, we teach her to chant them. "no more nuk! no more nuk!" "3-hour nap! 3-hour nap!" "i need a vacation! i need a vacation!" 2 weeks ago we began that vacation chant. and boy did the chanting deliver.

it was a week of calm surroundings and 2 busy girls. bry & i switched off mornings of who got up with the girls and i loved laying in bed hearing him juggle pancakes, toddler squeals, and planning the day. here's the highlight reel:

shade of the willow tree overlooking the lake, wind chimes

savvy's first: belly laugh, roll-over, toe dip in the lake

local pizza joints

fallon's first dum-dum, green fuzzy caterpillar discovery

bed-time paddle boat ride with the fam

late night mario kart tournament turned even later night mario kart tournament

non-stop motion

1 bowl of watermelon, 2 forks

anything & everything through their eyes

accumulating 30+ miles run around lakes

"lazy bug" (you know, that red bug with black spots)

how quickly big sister dances; how quickly little sister smiles

hot night, cold summer shandy

weekend with g-pa, grams, and cousin liv (whom fal has been asking for ever since...)

fal's courage: "faster, faster!" "go." (going 25 mph on the jet ski...)

big sisters "helping" little sisters

first night back in our home

his vacation beard turned into mustache. he gave me 1 glorious night of laughter before he shaved it for work

bry & i tend to be, oh, somewhat competitive with one another. i think that's the best word to describe it. much of life has become a bet on who's right. the really important stuff, too: whether or not they will play a song at a wedding, whether or not they will have organic milk at the cottage market, whether or not they added proper nouns to the scrabble rules, whether or not the girls could last on a 20-hour plane ride to australia. (for the record: he won on the song, i won on organic milk, he says proper nouns, i say 20-hours is so doable). it was funny to live in this for a week straight without work to interrupt our competition. vacations mean uninterrupted life as us. they are so important. we learn more about each other and we have fun in all of those in-between times that we so enjoy.

the mark of a good vacation, is being excited to come back to reality. we were. we are.

contrast.

2011-07-22T11:40:00.000-07:00

the armageddon heat wave that has overtaken chicago is what they refer to as everyday during summer in florida. it's like the fl heat that we left is peeking in to tell us hi, we miss you. we miss you, too, florida. or shall i say, we miss you, too, beach/pools in every yard/ocean/boat club/some dear friends/fresh seafood/beach/pool/ocean.

slight change from our pool in florida, but it does the trick. happy toddler and dog..

we are getting away next week, though, and i'm little-school-girl-giddy about it. some quality family time at the in-law's cottage in michigan. we plan to mix lazy around the cottage with a perfect dose of active in the water and some long lake runs.

we went to target this morning to get some necessary items for the trip and i ended up with a floppy hat and denim short overalls (shorteralls) that i'm all too excited about. i'm channeling my liz lemon, even though she wears her shorteralls as a joke of how unflattering clothes can be... michele, i look forward to hearing your jokes when i wear them to our next playdate.

oh tina, i admire the way you willingly make yourself the butt of the joke to make the joke. i hope to be more like you.

now back to the heat wave. it has given us AWESOME reason to play in the newly finished ice house. i mean basement. we have created a fun habit of wrapping up in sweatshirts & slippers then having tea parties with babies and wrestling matches on the futon mattress.

all the while proving that fal gal is the toughest girlie girl that has ever been. i'm fairly certain she could dominate any kid in the tot lot, but would tend to her baby as soon as the brawl was over.

the cool basement has been a nice contrast to the hot 3-inch thick air outside. the quiet cottage will be a nice contrast to our wonderfully busy lives. i like contrast. it keeps it interesting and keeps me aware. slow, hot yoga tonight will be a great contrast to pounding the pavement running. yeah, i like contrast a lot.

no internet for a week. lakes out.

sometimes we like to stage things.

2011-07-20T13:17:00.001-07:00

dear girls:

2011-07-18T12:51:00.000-07:00

dad & i commented several times last night on how wonderful our weekend was. we were having an elaborate family meal (of drive-thru portillo's) and fallon did not stop talking and savvy did not stop smiling. therefore, mom & dad did not stop laughing. what a joy/honor/hilarity it is to be your parents.

i LOVE the mirror image stance here... makes me laugh. a lot.

bry's siblings were in town and we did it up bbq style. in 115-degree heat. thank goodness for kiddie pools and sprinklers. and not caring that you have sweat stains in front of family.

dear girls.....

fallon, you regularly talk without stopping for 20-30 minutes straight. and you're really funny. the other day i was putting together your big girl bed (you're not in it yet, but you sure are getting excited about it!) and as i lifted your mattress you were a hilarious peanut gallery: "wooooah!" "need a hand, mom?" "is dat heavy, mom?" "wooooah!" "big girl bed." "need help mom?" "good job, mommy!" "wooooah" i was laughing so hard which made the whole process of putting the bed together take longer which made you talk for longer. you didn't know what i was laughing at but you joined me in laughing, like you always do.

and savvy girl. oh my, that smile. when you are awake, i'm convinced you spend more time smiling than not. you like being at home best, lying on the family room floor in particular, making eye contact with someone. and as much as i don't like to admit it, nothing gets you smiling faster or bigger than your dad. in fact, i might have to take 3rd on this one because fal sure gets you going, too. "hiiii savvy girl." "what's up baby sav?" i'm fine with that though, i get the cuddles. this morning you spent 6 am-8 am in my little savvy arm nook.

big sister teaches little sister how to jump. big sister does have mad jumping skills.

it's amazing to be in the midst of creating our little family- our dynamic, our routine, our traditions. us girls watched veggie tales sweetpea beauty tonight while dad was at a work dinner. (a dvd i HIGHLY recommend for mom's of girls.) and not that i want to brain wash you. but i kind of hope i can brain wash you. true beauty is on the inside and that is what shines out on the outside.

please take captive any thought or influence that tells you otherwise.

you are beautiful. and perfect.

and created in His image.

perfect. just the way you are.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised Pr. 31:30

tough days.

2011-07-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

every once in awhile there are these really hard days as a mom. they sneak up on you out of nowhere. i'm thankful that i don't feel these all that often, but today was one for me. i write to vent and refocus and to encourage my little girls that if and when they are moms, it is ok that you have tough days, too.

i have blamed all sorts of things: traffic, not having "me" time, trying to juggle too many things, a few nights with bry on the road, bumpy sidewalks on a run with the girls, a whiney toddler, and on and on. and on.

i am reading "give them a grace," a recommendation from my wonderful friend jeanne and while i just started, i am getting the point of the book all too well already. i fall short in everything and God gives me grace after grace after grace. we are to parent that way, too.

today was a tough one. tomorrow? tomorrow is a new day. i need grace and i need to give grace. looking forward to both :)

dear girls:

2011-07-07T11:20:00.001-07:00

this blog has really turned into my letters to you. my way of documenting our memories as a family and hoping that you might find joy/encouragement/comfort in reading it when you are older and even (gasp.) mothers yourselves. i thought of a few things this morning that i wanted to share with you.

sav was awake early this morning in her cradle next to our bed. happy but not asleep. watching the ceiling fan. blowing bubbles...

i remember when i lived in paris. i was 21 and my biggest concern each day was what part of town i was going to explore: which open air market would i sample, which cafe would i read at, which thrift store would i sift through looking for a christian dior purse or flapper top (both of which i found, by the way.) what i remember, though, is that i was dating your dad and i would lay in bed daydreaming about when we got married and we had kids. those kids would wake up in the morning and i would be the one they wanted. i would be so excited to begin our days together and plan what WE would do together. swap out parisian delicacies for organic pop tarts, kitschy cafes for local parks with good baby swings, and the aforementioned chic thrift stores for super target. i dreamt of you and i prayed for you so long before you were born and being your mom has far exceeded any fantasy i played out. i love waking up to you guys every single morning.

i also want to share with you how much i love your dad. i pray that you each find a man like your dad. i'm a visual person and i have these distinct pictures in my head...when i walked down the aisle and saw his face at the other end. when he came to visit me in paris and the intense emotion that welled up in me at the airport after not seeing him for a couple of months and he walked through those doors. him climbing into the boat over the weekend after playing with fallon in the water...my attraction (sorry, you'll probably find that gross) and gut-wrenching love for him has grown every single day. please don't ever settle for a man who doesn't knock your socks off and make you feel like you are a precious gift from God, because you are. and there's a man out there who thinks so.

fal, this morning you put stickers on my cheeks and found it hilarious. sav, you are SO CLOSE to belly laughing. you lay on the ground and i tickle your thighs. you coo and smile and open that mouth so wide, i am so excited for your adorable laugh that will be so very contagious, i'm sure of it.

i love you, girls.

the 6th

2011-07-05T19:06:00.000-07:00

dare i say they look like sisters?!

happy 6th of july. we had a fabulous holiday weekend. so fabulous that i find myself wanting to make every day as celebratory and carefree as the fourth of july. a day filled with families & friends getting together, firing up the grill, sparklers (or glow bracelets in our case with the chillens), laughter, joy, time spent outside, and all sorts of american traditions... like wearing matching outfits with your cousins...

we were up at lake geneva. one of my happy places for sure. the whole extended family made it up there and with 7 cousins 3 yrs old & under, it was a zoo in the most glorious sense. mornings consisted of each of the families making their way to the living room as the kiddo's arose all too early. coffee brewing, egg casseroles baking, affectionate cousins greeting each other like they hadn't seen each other in YEARS, and planning for the day.

days consisted of the williams bay beach, jumping off the pier, boat rides, lounging on the screened-in porch, and gobbling up lunch after a tiring day at the lake.

the choppy lake geneva waters on a holiday weekend...hold on to your hat.

and evenings? evenings are my favorite. grilling brats (cherry, apple, chicken, garlic, oh my), chaos until we all sit at the dinner table, putting sticky sun-kissed kids to sleep, and playing games and drinking drinks with adults, or a late night stroll along the lake with bry guy.

as a family unit, we all came back refreshed and tired. a beautiful juxtaposition.

we snapped right back into the groove of our day. i drove to target without the girls, blaring my music (like every mom does when there are no kids in the car, right?) i got to thinking about how much i desire bringing this fourth-of-july-ness to our everyday life around here. just living a little more carefree and enjoying each day that God gives us. impromptu afternoon bubble bath with fal gal? absolutely. a run when i only have 30 minutes left with my sitter? run like the wind. staying up late on a weeknight watching a movie with my love? uh huh.

i love the memories that come with holiday weekends. we document them a little better. we take a few more pictures. the holiday brings it out of us.

some of my favorites from this particular holiday:

fal gal jumping off the post at the pier. post: 3 ft-high, fal gal: 21 months. bam.

"oh, oh, oh it's MAGGIE!"

playing taboo with my husband, siblings and parents

watching savvy coo at my grandpa, her great grandpa

fal & bry walking together from the beach to the pier

the natural light that poured in on the porch

my mom sitting with the grandkids early in the morning in her big comfy robe

silently laughing so hard with bryon as we tried to crush a bug NUMEROUS times before finally conquering the persistent little bugger, all the while the girls sleeping soundly across the room

and from this particular weekday:

fallon saying: "actually, it's (insert any word you like)"

sav giggling in her pack n play when she's supposed to be going down for the evening

successfully breaking fal of the sacred nuk. she seemed to growing all too attached to it and we felt like it was the right time. she cried for 20 min the first night and that. was. it. i'm so proud my heart could burst. her resiliency never ceases to amaze me.

savvy's lady bug dress
fal gal pulling weeds next to me in the backyard. cute, right? even cuter: wearing her winter mittens to match my gardening gloves

dinner at the picnic table outside: grilled tilapia & blackened corn on the cob

booking our anniversary trip to wine country. look out napa, here we come

listening to bryon on his conference call with china as i type, girls sleep

so happy sixth of july, and happy seventh, while we're at it.

kind of like my 3rd child.

2011-06-28T12:35:00.000-07:00

fourth, sorry pup.

Ready, Set, Run! pilot program at Franklin Park Borough in Pennsylvania gets kids on right track for fitness

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Fun…exciting…challenging. These are words youth participants used to describe their experience at the Ready, Set, Run! pilot program hosted by Franklin Park Borough (Pa.) Parks and Recreation.

Ready, Set, Run!, a program of the National Alliance for Youth Sports (NAYS), prepares children ages 8-13 to run a 5k in 12 weeks. While they build endurance and stamina, the children also go through a character development curriculum that equips them with the goal-setting mentality needed to accomplish their running goals. Topics covered include enhancing confidence and self-esteem, respecting authority, dealing with peer pressure and fueling their bodies with proper nutrition.

“This has been a fantastic program,” said Jim Watenpool, parks and recreation director at Franklin Park Borough. “The things I have seen the kids do in supporting and respecting each other was amazing.”

Franklin Park Borough recently held their final run where each youngster demonstrated the culmination of their progress over the last 12 weeks by running a full 5k.

“All I can say is that it was awesome,” Watenpool said of the excitement the children and families shared during the final run.

“Franklin Park was an ideal candidate for piloting the program,” said Kacey Lake, director of Ready, Set, Run! “They are well-organized and committed to programs that benefit their community. They, along with all of our other sites, have provided us with the incredible feedback we were hoping for: turn-key for the coordinators, enjoyable for the coaches, fun for the kids and a true value-add to the community!"

Several of the parents decided to run alongside their child, and all of them completed the full 5k.

“The parents and kids were cheering and clapping for each child as they crossed the finish line,” Watenpool said. “As the last boy was coming around to the finish, almost all of the kids ran out, without prompting, and ran the last 100 yards with him to cheer him to the finish.”

Running a 5k is a feat that most adults even have trouble completing. According to the parents of the youth runners, however, Ready, Set, Run! gave their children the confidence to accomplish this, and lays the foundation for them to set and reach more goals in the future.

One parent said, “I like the fact that the kids had to work to obtain their goals – that it wasn’t about competing, but pushing themselves.”

Added another parent: “At the beginning my kids didn’t believe that they could run a 5k! They had the biggest smiles and were so proud of themselves for finishing the race.”

While Franklin Park Borough’s recreation department offers many programs for children of all ages, they did not have anything similar to Ready, Set, Run! “This program added another dimension to our programming,” Watenpool said. “It afforded us the opportunity to reach some children that were not interested in participating in any of our other programs.”

Click here to learn more about Ready, Set, Run!, how to implement the program into your youth sport program or to view sample manuals, or emailreadysetrun@nays.org.

Posted:6/28/2011

sport mode

2011-06-27T12:50:00.000-07:00

i have been keeping my camera on sport mode recently. i think it's very indicative of the way we've been moving around here. while it's important to us to stay active (physical fitness, playing outside, being social...) AND sport mode is really the only way to capture the quick in-between moments with a toddler and bebe, we need to be in no-flash mode every once in awhile, too.

i feel like it's this ongoing challenge of motherhood where you want to teach your kids to think for themselves yet respect others' opinions, be free-spirited yet obey the rules, push themselves to be better but not push themselves too hard, enjoy life but know that this home and this life is temporary.

i find this post amusing today. a monday where we look forward to a week of the brookfield zoo, west chicago pool, and concluding with a trip up to lake geneva for 4th of july weekend. all of which i am oh so excited for. all of which will require sport mode on the camera, for sure.

but right now? right now fal gal is rearranging her chairs and setting up food & utensils from her kitchen on each seat. she has been doing this for a good 25 minutes. savvy is next to me on her play-mat, looking at her adorable reflection and kicking with delight towards the penguin and alligator that rattle when she hits them. you're starting to swing at them on your own now, baby girl.

i am mentally recording (and quite frankly, physically recording) all of this: the coo's and rattles, the toddler counting her chairs over and over again, the anticipation of the text that will let us know that daddy is 5 minutes away. the in-between times between the hurriedness that can sometimes overtake the day.

snapping shots when the sunlight is pouring in the windows just right and the girls are calm and comfortable.

i had to fill out a ministry application to lead a small group in the women's group i've been involved with at church. one of the questions asked my strengths and weaknesses. i always find this question difficult to answer. i decided on a weakness being hurriedness. being stuck on the sport mode and not slowing down enough to make things totally right or appreciating the moment fully before moving on to the next.

tonight's agenda? club sandwiches for dinner and spending this monday evening in no-flash mode around the house. can't wait :)

just "mom"

2011-06-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

no mama, no mommy, just mom. "ok, mom." "hi, mom." "help please, mom." my little girl is growing up. in many, many years, when i hope you are reading all of the entries, fallon & savvy, i want to let you know how wonderful it is being your "mom" at this stage in your lives.

fallon: i know i am biased, nonetheless, you are one of the spunkiest little girls that ever has been. i may sound like i'm bragging, but it really has nothing to do me and everything to do with you. people often comment on your amazing spirit, confidence, resiliency, and how quick you are to smile, dance and squeal. your bubbly reputation precedes you everywhere you go. you are social and you love spending time with other kids. you speak so well and literally repeat EVERYTHING i say. i always heard that about little kids but it's amazing to hear it happen. you also copy everything i do with savvy with your own baby doll. the other day you laid your doll on face down on a blanket next to me with a quiet "tummy time." the wheels in your head move as quick as your busy little legs.

savvy: it seems impossible that so much sweetness can be in such a tiny body. you are calm yet excitable, petite yet so strong, and you have the biggest, bluest eyes that just *light up* when you make eye contact with people. you love to watch your sister play around you and you amaze me with how tough you are when she pokes, leans on, or accidentally bops you with a toy. your smiles are so very contagious and dad & i spend a lot of time up in our bed with you right before you go down just laughing at your gummy grin. at 3 months, you are an impressive sleeper: 9:30 pm with a quick feed at 6, then back to bed til 8:30 or 9. you spend a lot of time attached to me in the baby bjorn or being held with one arm as we chase around your sister or go about our busy days. i love having you close and you seem to enjoy the cuddles as well. one of my favorite things you do is BURROW your face into my shoulder when you're just waking up or about to go to sleep.

fal & sav: i see the bond already. there is an innate bond between you and i am SO excited to watch it develop. fallon wants to "hold you, savvy" all of the time. savvy, one of the first things you learned to "follow" with your eyes is your big sister. i remember right after savvy was born some people asked me if i felt guilty that i couldn't spend as much time with fallon or i wouldn't spend as much time with savvy as i did with fallon. absolutely not. i am so confident in the gift i am giving you as sisters and i can't imagine a better trait i would like to pass on than to think of others before yourself. you both are proving to thrive in this already.

so that's a bit of life as "mom" to the gals right now. although, this morning i heard some light talking in fal's room. i turned up the monitor and heard a "mooooommy. mooooomy." i couldn't wait to come scoop up the toddler and go join the baby for our morning rituals: milk, couch cuddles, and the quiet hour or 2 before the days get into full swing!

a picture is worth...

2011-06-20T18:42:00.000-07:00

i have put off writing this blog post several times. for some reason the words have not been flowing for me. i think about documenting memories in my head while we are going through our day, then i sit down in the few silent moments i get starting around 9:30 pm and i'm just too tired to be witty. or sentimental. so i'm letting the photos do the talking today.

like how fun it is to take the girls to the park.

oh, i'm sorry savvy, do you have something else you'd rather be doing?

and how much i enjoy seeing life through the eyes and quick legs of our toddler. like on a family trip to the zoo.

i wanted to let this horse out into the wild (well, the wheaton wild) so badly.

oh, i'm sorry savvy, do you have something else you'd rather be doing?

and taking IN how expressive savvy is becoming and the big personality that fills her petite little body.

for the man of the house.

2011-06-18T11:55:00.000-07:00

Father's Day 2011

running in the rain.

2011-06-15T18:11:00.000-07:00

a rainstorm caught me on my run today. apparently i wasn't running fast enough. it felt awesome. luckily i was by myself and the girls were dry inside with kara, world's best sitter. while i would not have set out for my run if i knew it was going to rain like it did, i thoroughly enjoyed the experience. changing my stride to avoid (and splash in a few...) puddles, the looks of drive-by-ers who seem to feel sorry for me, the feel of rain dripping off my eyelashes. it was a pleasant surprise.

we can't always see what is ahead of us, but when we can chuckle at our circumstances and splash in a few of the puddles that come, it sure would make life a lot more enjoyable.

i'm thankful to be married to a man who does this. big things: bryon experienced sudden hearing loss in his right ear about 6 months ago. it came on quicker than its name. i have yet to hear bryon really complain about it. little things: bryon likes to lay on the couch and read his iPad. these times are few & far between. usually he's doing this...

dear bryon: thanks for always cracking jokes at really inappropriate times. thanks for telling me to be patient when it's the very last thing i want to hear. thanks for your awesome discernment that reigns in our household. thanks for loving our routine & the comfort of our home. thanks for being positive and steady. thanks for not listening to downer music. thanks for those times that you make fallon laugh even harder than i think she's capable of. thanks for watching movies on airplanes and saying the strong female character reminds you of me, but weaker. thanks for working so hard. thanks for encouraging me to be me. thanks for reminding me to laugh at myself while running in the rain.

summer days

2011-06-09T13:03:00.000-07:00

we have spent a lot of time outside recently. it is such a refreshing way to pass the time: running through/drinking sprinkler water, walking around the neighborhood, laughing at fallon as she pushes/picks up/stands on her bike instead of riding it, stepping up the front stoop step-down the front stoop step-up the front stoop step-down...., splashing in puddles, so much more. it is playing-outside-time and we are in love.

note the busy toddler in the background. the only thing she stops for? cold mac & cheese in a big kid chair.

and then it rained. and rained and rained. i tell you what, the cooling rain has been a nice change. hot days are so much fun, but a cool rain detoxifies us and makes us appreciate the warmth that will come again.

this particular rainy day included a wet, slippery garage floor which caused a fal gal wipe out. wipe out prompted cries that could be heard around the world and a fast moving mama: savvy girl inside on a blanket on the floor, scoop up hurting toddler, get us all in and safe. this wipe out prompted something else to...

...i got us all in and (almost) settled and a knock came at the door. a neighbor told me she was going to encourage me: "these days will pass." hmph. "um, thanks." close door. i don't want these days to pass. quite frankly i'm fearing how quickly these days will pass.

these days where i am the one who fal runs to when she falls down. i'm the one she throws a FIT over when i can't pick her up right. that. second. i'm the one who gets to sit with savvy girl in a quiet office (where i'm supposed to be working) and watch her learn to express herself with her smile, eyes, tongue, eye brows.

"your little hands wrapped around my finger and it's so quiet in the world tonight. your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming so i tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light.
to you, everything's funny, you got nothing to regret, i'd give all I have, honey if you could stay like that"

i get to be behind these 2. pushing them, teaching them, learning from them, laughing with (and sometimes at) them.

hope you all get a chance to be fully in YOUR time and you enjoy it before it does pass by. we are headed into a weekend of staying put and celebrating my adorable niece's big 1st birthday. and date night tonight with my love. off to see this. last time we went on a date? we had a baby that night...

vibing

2011-06-06T12:08:00.000-07:00

i use the term "vibing" quite often. usually when bry & i do a lot of laughing together, i feel like we're vibing. when the girls eat, sleep and play well, i feel like they're vibing. when sunday evenings mean a run for each of us, followed by grilled fish & veggies enjoyed on our picnic table outside, while fal gal skips laps around the backyard in between bites ALL leading right up until bedtime for the girls? oh yes. we are vibing.

there really is nothing more important to me than vibing with my family. i'm finding it's about balance, routine, and cherishing our moments. it's about not worrying, being intentional, and thanking God for blessings and challenges. 2 months ago when we were nervous about the life of our infant and learning to navigate life with 2 babies, we did not think vibing was in our near future. turns out, it is. and we are so thankful.

alotta things are working together to bring us to vibing status as of late. like weekends away with family.

why yes, that IS my old life jacket! sentimental overload.

there is something amazing about looking back on photos when you can actually SEE the love between people.

we're learning about the people that our girls are quickly becoming. seeing their bond forming already- like when fal decides toys to bring over to savvy. and savvy has begun following fallon around the room with her curious little gaze. laverne & shirley, thelma & louise, jo & meg march...

and please note our free-spirited toddler who has more photos trying to escape the camera/hug/loving embrace than not. her energy and buck-the-system attitude already remind me of a certain 18-year-old... ruh roh. when i convinced my dad to let me live in paris with a few girlfriends and then those girlfriends backed out and i went anyways, he warned me it would come back to bite me.

but then there are moments where she stops & captures the beauty and innocence of a moment that is otherwise overlooked. she stops to smell every flower. she dances with her shadow. she notes the baby ducks who are tucked beneath their mama. then we all get to experience the way the mama duck dives in after her ducklings like its her job. and it is. i know.

cause when mama duck is vibing with her girls, all else in the world is right. stress is eliminated, female pressures seem so SO silly, material possessions and creating the "picture perfect home" fall so far down the priority list.

and we've had loads of family time. two things we've noted on our first summer back in chicagoland: the genuine appreciation of nice weather and the refreshment that comes from spending quality time with family. fal regularly goes through the list: olivia, kris, mark, austin, graham, carter, maggie, goofy, donald, daisy, minnie.

the peanut and the cashew. guaranteed to be best buds for life. 1 month apart in age, 12 months apart in clothes size...

so needless to say, we are enjoying the vibe that has come with summer. we are enjoying the vibe that has come with learning how to grow with our girls. bry called me out for being uber sentimental the other day. this doesn't happen often. when it comes to crying at, well anything, bry is the first to crack. i wish i had it in me, but i don't. one of the things i love most about him. these days, though, i think i'm coming around. the vibe is getting to me and i like it.

and then he looks at me like this. like "really? you're taking a picture to capture this memory? ok, babe." i snap, we laugh, and i know we're vibing.

if every weekend was 3 days long...

2011-06-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

we would just ask for 4.

but i don't care, i'm asking anyways. long weekends are the perfect reason for lazy days at the cottage. they allow us to spend "in between times" with family. bry and i started referring to "in between times" early in our dating relationship. it's that time early in the morning as everyone gets their coffee, impromptu games of ring around the rosie or la-la, funny conversations about lady gaga as we prepare lunch, the time in between the planned stuff. and that's what 3-day weekends are made of.

that and naps.

and loving on babies and cousins.

and doing traditional cottage things. like putting in the dock and then showing your wife how tough you are for helping with the dock.

blowing bubbles and learning to take turns.

catching smiles from kids as they go from one fun thing to another.

adding to your bruise collection.

trying (somewhat successfully...) for the family shot.

learning how to run through the sprinkler. though, i'm convinced this is an innate skill that kids have. our little lady dove right in.

and kicking your feet up.

yep, 3 day weekends are made of good stuff. this weekend we're off to do it all again at lake geneva. maybe we'll take monday off. and tuesday. what the heck ;)

ctrl alt delete

2011-05-26T12:27:00.001-07:00

yesterday morning fal gal woke up covered in hives. COVERED. apparently she had an allergic reaction to something, yet tbd. she's totally fine and recovering and gets all too excited to take her grape flavored zyrtec, which she will continue to ask me to have for months to come. medicine, mama? medicine?

"god loves a lullaby
in a mother's tears in the dead of night
better than a hallelujah sometimes"

hair bk. (before kristin)

anyhoo, it was a long day with lil girl. she was swollen and uncomfortable and drunk on benadryl. one of my dear friends had planned to visit that afternoon to meet savvy girl and her and i would venture out on our own (gasp.) for dinner. it was one of those accidentally-perfectly-planned evenings after a long day.

my amazingly gifted friend fixed my hair, reset #1. played with and loved on my girls, reset #2. and joined me for a quiet dinner, reset #3, wine, reset #4 and #5, and being out past 8 pm, reset #6. it is so important to reset.

i came home excited to get up with the bebe for her 4 am feed and missing my sleeping toddler. going out with a dear friend ranks up there as one of my favorite and most jolting resets. and when mama resets, we all is happy ;)

another reset? looking at pictures that show the love & bond shared between our girls.
it is so important to find those things that help us reset. fal gal? she resets after her afternoon nap. this is a non-negotiable in our house. she needs it, she thrives from it, she gets it. she also resets after a dance-off with mom. this can cure most fits. today it was to "pizza, pizza, pizza is the best. pizza, pizza, better than the rest..." and included jumping and arm circles.
savvy seems to reset after our morning cuddle. i put her down after her 4 or 5 am feed and she sleeps great until about 6. then, she and i cuddle. every morning i wonder if she won't wake up and need me and it makes me sad. however, 6 am rolls around and she speaks our secret language of grunts & kicks. i scoop her up and lay her in the crook of my arm with her little face leaning in on my chest. we sleep soundly until fal gal calls for us. it is glorious.
this weekend we will reset at the in-law's cottage in michigan. we will spend time with family. we will dip our feet in very chilly lake water and debate about going all the way in. we will sleep with the loud window fan blowing on us. we will play card games once the kiddo's go to sleep. we will come together as a family and hit a giant ctrl alt delete and then get back to our wonderful (and busy) life.

snuggles and bravery.

2011-05-23T07:53:00.000-07:00

same set of parents, two very different girls. already. i love it. this weekend they each taught me a little more about themselves. which always also teaches me about myself and life in general.
savvy is my snuggle bunny. fal gal was not a snuggle bunny. (although recently i think she's observed that savvy snuggles and savvy gets held. therefore, if fallon snuggles, fallon will be held? mama doesn't mind at all...) anyway, you will either find savvy lying on the floor kicking her sweet little chicken legs, or up against my chest/neck going in for the snuggle. ok, or bouncing on the exercise ball- which is exactly the SAME as her sister.

nibble-able toes!!

she also is my smirker. she doesn't flash the huge smile that fal gal was known for. fal's was business, big ole smile, then back to business. sav lies on her back and just smirks for 20, 30 minutes on end.
she is calm, she is resilient, she is her unique little self.
and fal gal went and taught me even more about her bravery this weekend. fallon is the kinda chic who would walk straight off a 40-foot cliff if i didn't stop her. we went to the taste of glen ellyn thinking it would be good entertainment and there might be a kiddie carousel that fal would enjoy. there was and it was fun.
then there was the ferris wheel. the fastest (most rickety) ferris wheel of all time. "please can we go? can we?! can we?!" said...bryon. i really didn't think she would like it. i thought she would be scared of the height and the speed. boy was i wrong.
little girl ROCKED that ferris wheel. little girl got bored on that ferris wheel. oy.
she showed me even more of her tenacious little spirit. the little spirit that "run, run, run!"s on our walks, falls down and scrapes her knee (bad) and wipes it off with a "biiiiiig owie" and blood trickles as she keeps on running. the little spirit that shakes her booty to any music that comes on, says "hiii kids" whenever she sees kids playing outside, can now count to 20 after hearing me do it a few times, has more bruises on her legs than a leopard has spots, and continues to amaze me with her desire to go go go.

she is intelligent, she is a firecracker, she is her unique little self.
really makes you realize how unique we really are. God created us so differently, apparent at 8 weeks old. makes me embrace the juxtaposition of what makes me, me: working & at-home mom, formula & healthy feeding mom, bossypants & my utmost for his highest reading mom, runner & couch laying mom, working on becoming the woman that God wants me to be mom. makes me appreciate what makes each of my friends my friends and what makes my husband my husband, too.
they teach me to do that. to stop and smell the flowers. that's a nice place to be.

oh and i cut savvy's hair! the tuft covering her cutis aplasia had grown to about 3 inches long and while it was cute, it was beginning to tickle my nose during all the snuggling. but not too short. it's her. it's her i-spent-10-days-in-the-nicu-and-had-sedation-and-an-mri proof. her story.

so glad i get to write stories with each of em.

bit of honey.

2011-05-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

i've had 2 people in the last week tell me that in order to help seasonal allergies, you should eat locally made honey. it's brilliant, really. to help a side effect of what is going on in our world, we need to get deeper into it. we need to fully embrace it in order to feel better. "climb back into the crevasse, liz." jack donaghy

when fal is throwing a fit because she wants to ride "horsey" on my leg while i try to balance feeding her infant sister on my lap? maybe instead of turning disciplinarian, i need to just sit on the floor while i feed sister. a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. pr 15:1

when evening is rolling around and i know sav is going to have her fussier time of the day? maybe instead of getting impatient, i should take it in stride and know that it's just the way it is with babes.

the savvy smirk!!

or when they both are "supposed" to be sleeping and they don't? remember that i have days and nights where i just can't sleep, either. (although not recently, my head hits the pillow at night and i've already been asleep for 30 seconds...)

and for good, too! when fal wants to share every single toy she has with her little sister, i need to get in on that playing action. i need to play cars and tea party with my girls. and i need to see how oddly similar her baby dolls look to her little sister...yikes!

when bry comes and relieves me in the evening so i can go for a run? i RUN LIKE THE WIND. i kid you, not. there is no better training in the world than being at home with 2 kids under 2.

oh, here's one. when my hair is fluorescent? embrace feeling like a cartoon character and make it the baddest, most bodacious cartoon character you can think of...

when fal wants to help with every single thing i do? do the things that i've dreamt of doing with my little girl for as long as i can remember. banana bread, anyone? and recently, cutting zucchini for dinner. and she'll tell you she cut it, too. "zoo-key-neeee."

when savvy's little face leans into mine because i know i'm her comfort and she loves the skin to skin? lean in. and sit down. hold her. rock her. love on her with every ounce of my self.

in order to fully experience the benefits of where we live- where we're at in life, our everyday situation- we need to fully engage. we basically need to be like the little ones...

taste the raw corn, so we know to spit it out
get covered in water, what else do you do at a water table?
lay a little bit longer next to our loved ones

stack the books on the floor, so we can reach the books higher on the bookshelf
eat the local honey.

surprise.

2011-05-17T12:14:00.000-07:00

i am awful at surprises. i either get too excited and tell it too soon (like bry's birthday gifts 3 weeks before his birthday...) or i am too annoying and make the surpriser tell me before the proper time. usually it's the former of the 2 because bry doesn't really try to surprise me anymore.

however, when bry was in china, i decided i would surprise him with a hair cut. a short new do. i just "grew my hair out" from the short hair that i loved before, and i decided it was time to go back. and blonder. i got the idea in my head and i needed it to happen yesterday.

so i called around and found a c+ salon who would take me right then (first sign...) and chopped it off and lightened it. he kind of did what i asked. i wanted it blonder. 2 boxes of bleach and 1 orange head later, i realized that i REALLY don't like surprises... thankfully the kind folks at zazu salon in downtown wheaton were able to somewhat normalize my hair. now i glow platinum/yellow as opposed to orange. while it's not exactly what i was going for, it's fun. and dramatic. and bryon was surprised!

today i am surprising him with banana bread that fal helped make. a little more up my alley. actually, i'll probably tell him when we chat late afternoon.

i surprised this little gal by recording her play session. "hi ladder!" makes me laugh so hard. i love catching her when she doesn't know i'm watching. also, (disclaimer) that is not a good indicator of how i treat baby savvy in her stroller...

heat wave.

2011-05-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

hallelujah it's hot. i've been so happy to be sweating the last 2 days. i don't want to be a fair weather thanker, but the warm weather sure has me adding to my thankful list.

thanks lately...

#444 bry putting fal's hair in a pony tail

#449 dawn light during sav's early morning feed

#459 when both girls are sleeping (this one is on here a few times. along with coffee and wine.)

#466 her comfort & confidence as a big sister

#482 feeling proud of my girls

#485 all of the sudden noticing that everything is green

-we had been talking about how much we love flowering trees and began shopping one for our front yard. we went out of town one weekend and came home to a tree in our front yard FULL of white blooms. we haven't been in the house for a spring yet, didn't know what we wanted was already there. it doesn't sound that funny now, but boy did we laugh.

#490 anticipation before he comes home from work

#499 piles of pink laundry

especially those covered in ice cream...

#506 candles that smell like the season

#509 messed up pig-tails

#510 picking out their outfits

#511 sticky, dirty, active, healthy toddler

#512 necessary mid-day baths

#513 feeling prayed for

bry is in china for the week and we have been blessed by his prayers for us. he sent me this pic from his flight out. i tried to feel bad for him that he would be on a plane for about 19 hours... buuut i kept thinking about how much i would LOVE to be in a bed, by myself, for 19 hours straight. not so sympathetic.

i had one of those days yesterday where i felt like i could do it all. there are many days that i DON'T feel like that. but yesterday? yesterday i could. i got the girls ready in the morning (milk, diaper changes, dressed, giggling), then juggled the landscaper, babysitter, comcast worker, and basement contractor and got in a 4 mile run. all by 11 am. like i said, one of those fantastic days. as a mom, i think we need those to help us get through those days where it feels like we're getting absolutely nowhere. i'm going to continue relishing in mine :)

but oh how we miss our man. we stay busy and we do so much during the days, but it's just not as fun without him here. he brings so much energy, laughter, love, friendship and leadership to all of our lives. can't wait for our missing piece to get home!

downward dog

2011-05-05T09:30:00.000-07:00

i did some downward dogs with fal this morning. it felt really good. she helped remind me how important it is to stretch. more importantly, she reminded me how fun it is to put your head upside down.

i think we all need some upside down time each day. today i needed it for acceptance. i have mastitis again. again. same side as with fallon, same timing as with fallon. only difference is how i'm treating it. i'm not going down the abscess/surgery route. i'm going down the acceptance route. i'm going down the about-to-justify-myself-on-the-internet route.

this little kiddo is turning out pretty stinkin well. i provide in every single way i know possible. she eats healthy, she gets a lot of social interaction, i love on her with every ounce of my being, we read, we color, we laugh, we chase, we exercise, we pray, etc. etc. etc. this little girl was formula fed after the first 2 months of trying to nurse. guess what, sav...

that is where we're headed. i may struggle with pride, guilt, and shame of not being able to do what is supposed to be best and SO natural...but i'm gonna love on you in every other way possible. your dad will make fun of how healthy i make you eat post formula, and i will revel in that. our eye contact during your bottle time is going to entrance us both, i'm sure of it. when i look back on the trying time that is going on in my heart now, i will know we are both stronger from it. when you turn out as fabulous as i know you will, i will thank God.

my husband, my teammate, my rock shines in the situation again. his support and sensitivity never cease to amaze me. again, i thank my God.

so no hiding in the corner when i have to pull out my powder for your bottle in public. corners will be saved for tea parties only.

today's downward dog has reminded me that sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. sometimes that's a downward dog, sometimes that a tough decision.

oh, and i can redeem some mom-clutchness. i may have left the fancy camera in the bag during our weekend getaway, but the iPhone caught our girlie dance (that's what is going on below...) fal shakes her hips anytime ANYTIME music comes on. sometimes when it doesn't come on as well. this particular morning, there was music. and she shook and stopped..."savvy dance?" and dance they did.

so thanks for being my sounding board, blog. just another reason i enjoy having you.