christmas. unedited.

on the first day of christmas my family gave to me...

2 crawlers under the christmas tree.

3 lovies eating...

2 bookworms reading...

and 1 treasure hunt for a loooooost toy.

lots of cousins playing...

1 papa loving...

and a jeep for the kiiiids to riiiiiiiiide.

on the next day of christmas my family gave to me...

1 trip to michigan-y.

3 lovely girls...

and a gingerbreeeaaaad hoooouse coooontest.

1 giant caterpillar...

lots and lots of toys...

and a swiper whoooo loves tooooo swipe.

1 blissful grandma...

1 uncle jeff...

and quaaaaAAAAAaaaaAAAAlity time.

christmas memories.

some of my favorites from the past. some of my favorites that are just now beginning.

• sitting with my brothers on the stairs christmas morning while my mom took her annual video. pretending to be too cool like my brothers, but loving every minute
• acting out the nativity story with our extended family. i was mary and i rode on my cousin nathan's back. he was the donkey. (thanks, aunt jill, for always being creative)
• laying awake in bed on christmas eve. smiling.
• fallon always answering "chocolate" for what she wants for christmas
• the christmas we were engaged.
• my grandpa sharing from the gospel at some point during our family get together
• white tights
• my parents recording "twas the night before christmas" for the grandkids. they laughed through the whole last page several times before getting it. apparently my mom gave my dad all the hard parts.
• savvy crawling by the light of the christmas tree. swiping ornaments.
• a white elephant christmas exchange in lake geneva, i think it was my little cousin kyle who ended up with sausages
• annual dinners with my high school friends
• seeing my parents with their family members, putting it all together that it used to be a family unit like our own
• wrapping gifts that the girls will tear open
• sirius xm "holly"
• writing christmas messages to my brothers and parents on their wrapped gifts with a sharpie
• playing jingle bells with a couple of bells from the tree: singing with fal, sav bopping along.
• fallon's "one horse open sleeeeeeeeigh!" finale
• shopping downtown with bry
• planning our christmas morning. my man, our girls, our home, celebrating our Savior.

dear girls:

milestones are in the air. holy smokes. without further adieu, let the documenting begin.

fallon: we began potty training just shy of 2 weeks ago. and real potty training: like take your diapers away for good, except for sleep. so far? 1 accident at home. you are rockin it, girlfriend. we are still staying on you, but we have resumed life as usual with outings and everything. so stinkin proud. you continue to crack us up with your antics and your soft & gentle heart seems to be coming through more & more. you hate when savvy is upset and you sing to her, find her toys, and always try to share whatever it is that you’re eating or drinking. you like to tell me things that we do together. “we are sitting here together, mommy.” “we’re both walking!” and you also enjoy this or that questions. “do you want the lights on or off, daddy? on or off? light or dark?” “are we going fast or slow, mommy? or medium?” you still love going to church and the gym and we are so pleased with how easy you adapt to the world around you and THRIVE in your environments. we pray together every night and you have done wonders on my prayer life. you like to pick family members, friends, and disney characters who need prayer each night. thank you for all that you are.

savvy: savvy, savvy, savvy. the crawling began about a week ago (8 ½ months old) and sister, you are on the move. ow ow! and the crawling seems to have flipped a saucy switch. you know what you want and you squawk until you get it. gotta say, I usually love it. you hold your own and you are the queen of the swipe. some of your fav swipes? the fireplace gas turner, fallon’s memory cards, books that are piled up for reading, and many other not-intended-for-savvy type things. you pulled yourself up to stand today and you’re pretty sure you should be doing that all of the time. basically, anything that gets you closer to Fallon is a good thing in your eyes. one of my favorite things is you coy smile. you do this, make a silly face and then look at me out of the corner of your eye with your gummy grin. still no teeth in that sweet little mouth. friends have been commenting that you are beginning to look a lot like me and ooo-eee does that make me proud. you are my snuggler, mama’s girl, on-the-move little love. thank you for all that you are.

christmas card regret....

what have i done. in an act that (i think) is out of character i opted to NOT do christmas cards this year. i feel ebenezer just writing that. i rationalized saving money, allocating that money elsewhere, being green, being busy, blah blah blah blah blah. then last week came and i remembered just why we send christmas cards. i eagerly have gotten the mail every day over the last 2 weeks SO excited about who's card we would receive. i saw the smiling faces of little ones who i don't get to see very often and loved seeing those i see all of the time. i lingered on short words written by dear friends letting us know how God has blessed them or used them over the year.

i dropped the ball.

i feel like it's a direct parallel to what God is working in my heart right now. the things i desire to do & be aren't fully lining up with my actions. i am not doing anything that wrong, i just can't line up what my heart wants to do (sell everything and be completely used by God as a vagabond) and what my every day looks like- taking care of 2 beauties and making sure they have diapers, food, wipes, and a (somewhat) clean home. full circle: i want to be frugal but wish i would've sent our love and smiles -in the form of a christmas card- to others for christmas. where is that balance... ya dig?

my desire is to keep our family free from the love of THINGS and have our minds consumed with our ultimate mission: sharing the love of God and the good news of the gospel with others. just because we CAN afford something doesn't mean we should buy it. this here is new to me. "we should buy x house because cnn.com mortgage calculator tells us that we can afford it." God blesses us so we can give it right back to Him.

and it's good to thank God for what i have seen Him do firsthand in my own life, overcoming strongholds and sin that He graciously helps me with every single day. but what good is it really if i'm keeping it all to myself? if i'm not encouraging others, especially those close to me and overflowing with the word of God at all times. i need to share not only because God commands us to but because i have seen His mercy, forgiveness and hope.

how can i be a part of a plan that is making disciples who make disciples? what i do know? it is by far our biggest project in life with these two little munchkins. so maybe that's our christmas card. Jesus Christ was born to save the world from sin. He is our Savior. we spent this year thanking Him and asking how we can be used to further His kingdom. excited to see what next year may hold!

merry christmas from the lakes.

in all our bedhead glory!!!

lockdown.

potty training has been very kind on the bank account. aside from calculating buying half as many diapers (soon), we haven't left the house in 3 days now. this is abnormal in our world. i worried at first that the lockdown would drive us crazy. and by us, i mean me. we've had a blast.

these 2 are becoming the best of buds and once again i'm amazed at how close my heart comes to bursting every single time i catch a moment between them. tenderness, patience from the older sister. awe, love from the younger.

this time of year just begs for being around the house. i wish they made a lamp that shone the light of a christmas tree so i could shine it all year round. can i get an amen?

and today brought the first snowfall of the season that BEGGED to be played in.

i gotta say, after a couple of days of lockdown and getting my work done in bits & pieces between naps & "alone play-time," when the sitter showed up today, i was ready to ska-daddle. so i tended to some christmas shopping (which kind of negates the previous "good on the bank account" thing) and got a 10 mile run in on THIS terrain. merry christmas to me :)

sharing time: i'm struggling a bit with living radically: not needing a lot of "stuff" and finding satisfaction in God alone, when it comes to getting things for the girls for Christmas (and always, really). i desire for them to be content with little and generous with everything. but envisioning the look on my little girl's face when she opens a gift of a jessie the cowgirl doll is so stinkin amazing. i think this is one of those things that will be a battle, or rather a balance-thing, forever.

here's to an amazing weekend of family, couches, a few snowballs, and laughter.

no stifling allowed!

i've been working on the christmas story with fal lately. acting out the story. we have a "little people" nativity scene that she loves to play with. (side note: i can't believe there hasn't been a complaint against calling this toy line "little people.") thing is, when fal plays, mary will not stop hooking up with one of the wise men. truly. they keep riding away from the stable in a pink horse van and i often hear kissing noises going on between the 2 of them.

(that's them on the left and poor joseph is laying on the ground on the right. not staged, promise)

a fine line to draw between wanting your child to know the truth and always correcting her, stifling the creative little mind that always seems to totally make sense.

like when we walked into a lobby the other day and she SO EXCITEDLY exclaimed "A DONKEY, mommy!!!!" while pointing at the reindeer. i mean, donkeys have more to do with christmas than reindeer, right? and who wants to correct that kind of excitement. and more theologically correct excitement, at that.

or like when she asked the pediatrician today if this girl had boobies. i mean, seriously. physiologically, she's on the right track. and who's life vest is that perky.

meanwhile, this little peanut is a mover & a shaker if i've ever seen one. and trust me, i have. always up for whatever the day brings as long as she can get down on the floor and move. must not stifle creative minds. must not stifle exploring bodies.