Savvy Ann

where to begin. i could also title this post "weekend plans update" as the last post of our weekend plans didn't go quite as expected. in the wee morning hours of saturday march 26, savvy ann joined our family.

the way it all happened:

friday night we went to bed without a care in the world. we had just gone out on a date while grandma & grandpa watched fal gal. around 1:30 am, i woke up feeling contractions, but didn't think much of them. they continued happening and began getting quite unpleasant. after about 3 hours of hoo-hoo-hoo-ing (hoo like a breath, not like an owl), i told bry i thought we should call the doctor. the contractions weren't particularly close together- anywhere from every 6 to every 9 minutes, but the pain was immense. sure enough the doctor said i should probably go in.

en route to the hospital (5 am), we still didn't think savvy would be coming. false labor, dehydration caused contractions, and every other possible situation was going through my head. even at the valet, bryon asked, "where do we go for a possible labor?" all the while assuming more not possible than possible. after getting checked, the nurse assured us that at 6 cm dilated, we were absolutely going to have a baby soon. sure enough, about 2 hours later (8:23 am) savvy was born. she is perfect.

6 lbs, 6 oz, 19 in long, she certainly didn't LOOK too premature. she spent the first 12 hours in the room with us. i had a feeling in the depth of my stomach that we were not in the clear. i felt nervous as the nurses would take her for the routine tests and certainly hunched we were far from "in the clear" with our beautiful, BEAUTIFUL little peanut.

at 7:15 that evening, bry was in the hallway chasing fal around, approaching the nursery to peek in at her baby sister. as he walked up, the nurse caring for savvy had her turned on her side, hitting the call button that sent 6 nurses rushing over and that apparently also closes the blinds to the nursery. yikes. he let us know what he saw and we waited in anticipation for about 45 minutes. they let us know that she had a "dusky spell" where she stopped breathing and her face turned blue. it could be nothing or it could be a result of her immaturity. they wanted to give her one more chance to prove it was nothing. no such luck.

at midnight that night, the nurse came in and let us know she had been submitted to the NICU and that we could go see her. words cannot begin to describe the feeling. our baby girl was now plugged into several machines and sitting under a warming lamp. it was such a juxtaposition of feeling peaceful that our daughter was now getting the care she needed and also worrying that our daughter needed extra care.

a lot blurs together after that.

savvy just has some maturing to do. her spells have continued here and there, the good news is she has been pulling herself out of them. she is no longer on a iv, she is consuming above her "minimum" in calories, her vitals all look great, she is clear of infection, and it feels like she is beginning to "get it." the doctor wants her to be episode free for awhile before sending her home, so there is not an end date in sight at this point. it is up to her.

she is a fighter. i'm so proud of her developing endurance in nursing, as clearly this is a tough task for a 36-weeker. the nurses regularly comment on her feistiness. our hearts are so filled with love for our little munchkin and we feel blessed for the story that God has written for her.

we can't wait to take her home, but are certainly in no rush until she is ready.

God's plan:

about a month ago, i told bryon that i felt like God was preparing me for something. i had been experiencing an enlightening that i had never known. He kept putting me in scenarios that were teaching me about contentment and thanksgiving in every season of our lives. that it is a choice to rejoice during the hard stuff and trust in God's sovereignty. i didn't want to seem skeptical, but i felt as though he had something planned for me to use the lessons He was teaching me. now i know what that was. peace and optimism have stayed with us, for the most part. every once in awhile, weariness sets in and we have to fight off negative thoughts. we feel so blessed with our little girl and our hearts are spilling with love and admiration for her perseverance.

we would love prayer for her growth and maturity. please pray for fallon as well. she is having so much fun with our generous and self-less parents and her excitement to see grandma's and grandpa's and cousins and aunts and uncles is so reassuring and she is thriving. HOWEVER, it is rockin her world. i miss her like crazy and keep reminding myself that God is protecting all of us.

thank you so much for all of the encouraging texts and emails and prayers that have obviously been coming!

no time to edit, so hopefully this all came together :) i will keep updating as time allows!

weekend plans!

debating between this movie and this movie with the hubs tonight. fal gal gets to play with grandma & papa and i get a hot date with my man. sweet and sweet.

tomorrow i'm sure will include basketball, a trip to the sports center, lunch on the couch with the fam, and possibly a trip to pottery barn kids to pick up a big girl bed for fal. yikes!

finally, sunday. one of my fav days of the week- piling in for church together; followed by a bridal shower for one of my dearest high school friends.

i'm armed and ready to add to my thankful list as we spend time together as our little 3some. some more recent thanks?

how he gives her way more than her half of the smoothie. always with a smile.

him coming out of the room all dressed and ready for work. kiss, smile, bye.

her stopping to point at every bird on our walks.

meeting new neighbors.

how willing he is to run downstairs for me once i've crawled in bed. (zantac, propel, snack, whatever i may "need")

doing things in her room while she's soundly sleeping.

326/1000....go! go! go!

may we ALL find a little mischief this weekend :)

i needed it, too.

our little girl has a cough. i know a lot of kids have a lot of different illnesses (especially this time of year!) but this is her first official cough. she has managed to stay healthy and i'm certain that her immune system is about as tough as her little personality. that said, we spent the wee early hours of wednesday morn through wednesday night in the house together. we did venture out to a well-timed 18 month check-up at the pediatrician, who assured me it's just a chest cold.

she also informed me that she has another ear infection. this happened last time! fal gal doesn't let on that anything is wrong and BAM, ear infection. yummy, pink medicine time again.

i loved every minute of yesterday. i loved the concern of waking up at 5:30 am (telling bryon "no that's not a dog, that's our daughter coughing") and rocking my baby girl to sleep. i loved going down to the family room and cuddling while the sun came up as we watched mickey mouse clubhouse and snacked on kix and fresh orange juice. i loved her desire to have a part of her touching a part of me at. all. times. i loved that feeling that i was embracing every moment of our day together by thanking God along the way. i forget to thank Him so often, and will continue to in the future, i'm sure. but yesterday? yesterday i was there. well, here, rather.

after naptime, we played up in the baby's room...which is slowly but surely coming together. folding little clothes that seem like there's no way a baby is going to be so small that she needs this and hanging up little dresses that are far too sweet to handle. my heart could burst.

and the final thanks that i had yesterday that could be a post in and of itself:

how much i look forward to waking up for the day, everyday.

i remember being pregnant with fallon and at the end i just wanted to have her that very day so bad. for many reasons, sure, but selfishly because i wanted to not do what i was supposed to do that day (usually work). i just wanted to become a mom. as i approach the home stretch of this pregnancy i realize that i'm not looking for an OUT for the day. (of course i want her to come SOON to ease physical discomfort and i'm just so excited to meet her)

it has taken a long road of mornings in my past. mornings that i woke up lonely, dissatisfied, tired, longing, empty, tired, on and on and on. but yesterday, i realized how much i love waking up to my life every single morning. praise be to God.

it's a zoo

we had a fun trip to the free zoo by our house. and by fun trip, i mean fal gal ran around in her usual spunky fashion and i am now reflecting on the experience in retrospect. this seems to be the way we approach everything these days.

i'm not going to lie, the animals were the sideshow. the main act? bridges, fences, ropes, balance beams, other kids, etc. my reflection is making me realize how important it is to just let go and run free without a care of who or what is around me, like my toddler. it's making me reflect on how important it is to just get back up on the wooden plank when i fall off.

it's a gray, rainy day today as i write and it has felt a little gray as well. i think pregnancy is finally conquering me and i'm ready to give-in that i'm tired and my body is slowing down. i admit, i can be a pregnancy snob and way too proud to admit that my back is aching or my ankles are swollen or that i DO need that push off the couch that bry usually gives me sarcastically.

to top it off, my emotions are going a bit, too. the dog learned that all too well when he pooped in the house today. i apologized to him and as he sleeps at my feet i realize how amazing it is that dogs just seem to forgive anything. i hope he forgives me when i buy a bark collar for him before bebe girl is born. it must be done.

and my efforts to be more thankful and present have been tiring as well. i am learning that i like myself so much better when i am living: LESS OF ME, MORE OF HIM. why can't i do it all the time, then? i need that going on repeat in my head as i go throughout my day, like i used to do with amy grant or puff daddy.

the positive side of the tired, emotional, reflecting? i am beyond excited to meet this little gal. i have been coveting the BOND that i see between little siblings around me. big brothers egging on their little brothers, sisters holding hands as they walk, my nephew telling me to "be careful" around his new little brother. i can't wait for fal gal to meet her little lifelong friend. i'm certain it will end in an eye poke, but isn't that the beauty of it?

i'm also going to blame pregnancy on the randomness of this post. my thoughts have been swirling like the curls on the back of my little girl's head. but guess what? i'm thankful for her curls and i'm thankful for my capriciousness.

i'm also thankful for her strut and confidence.

and that the snake exhibit is still closed for the season.

can you feel the love?!

starts off sweet and then graham's face tells it all at the end there...

nothing like cousin hugs in the middle of a nice italian restaurant. we decided it was a good thing none of us live very close to the scene of the dinner crime. we were "that family" for sure.

cousin love all around!

and maggie, you will be in on that action so soon. can't wait!

gravity

i don't know how many times i can rephrase "running" to add it to my thankful list.

an impromptu run

running through a college town

running with fal gal

running without fal gal

fal gal's adorable face looking up at me through the BOB's plastic window

a healthy body to be able to run

today's lunchtime run was no exception. i was able to add "encouragement from fellow runners" to my thankful list. the encouragement i was received was from a fellow male runner who said: the laws of gravity make it seem like you shouldn't be upright. i took that to mean: that's a big ole belly, way to stick with running even though you're slow and beginning to waddle. thank you, sir.

i decided to document the day a gentleman questioned the laws of gravity when it came to a preggo running:

and i have 5 weeks to go. on average of bebe growing a pound a week during the home stretch, we are fairly certain i am going to birth a 6 year old. me kacey. me make big babies.

"Hi 18-months!"

i'm pretty sure if fal gal knew it was her 18-month birthday, she would address it like she does everything else: "hiiii 18-months!" then followed by her latest: "byyyye 18-months, miss you." several times a day as i stand in the kitchen, she goes over to the bathroom and says "bye mommy, miss you" and closes the door. it's her little hideaway. it also means that at all times the toilet seat is left down and the toilet paper is left up on the sink.

a little tribute to a few of the things this 1 1/2 year old spunkster has been up to...

• trains AND TRUCKS are choo-choo's. there is no convincing her otherwise.
• she will try to say anything she hears. recent funny repeats include: hi babe, back off big shot, her sister's name... (shh...), let's go, yabadaba DOOOOO (courtesy of dad), and so many i wish i was writing them down all of the time
• she still eats, sleeps, and plays hard, that has never really changed. she usually plays in her crib for a good 20 minutes before i get her.
• she loves going to "play play play" at the sport center and at the church nursery. everyone tells me how lucky i am.
• tantrums are beginning to enter into her pool of knowledge. i'm sure there will be more to come on this one...
• she is BUSY. she loves to push her stroller around the house, roam from room to room, close doors, jump in her bounce house, climb on mom & dad, run around the backyard, chase the dog, make food in her kitchen, take care of her babies.
• she LOVES babies. real and fake. we think she is going to be a fantastic big sister. (still working on "gentle" but fantastic nonetheless)
• most nights we put her down and just laugh to each other at how much fun she is.

AND bry took the day yesterday so we could begin preparing the nursery for bebe girl. i wanted a calm, serene green color with a few pops of pink & red decor. after painting last night i realized it looked oddly similar to the shamrock shake i indulged in... :) i'm sure this next one will be as spunky as the first and it will suit her just fine.

an equation i am learning? painting for the new babe + carrying the new babe + chasing & trying to keep up with a 1 1/2 year old = 1 tired mama. i can't imagine anything better. i remember thinking pre-kids that i was so excited to be physically worn out from my children. i think it's that same thing in me that LOVES to run to the point of extreme exhaustion. anyway, dreams DO come true...

sunday, sunday

it's a quiet sunday afternoon between a family lunch with the lake's and an upcoming family dinner with the hill's. i am certain God has granted me this time to sit & reflect and refocus my heart. i've noticed a change in myself. i notice in what i blog about, what i talk about, and what i think about. and i'm loving it.

i feel like i have had a taste of a new closeness with God and i cannot get enough. i don't want to stop tasting it. "one thousand gifts" has opened my eyes in a way that they have never been open. living in gratitude all of the time by doing a simple act- writing down my thanks. thanks for big things. thanks for little things. thanks for joys and thanks for challenges. every moment is a gift from God.

i feel slower and more present. i feel happier.

then, there's bible study where we talked about rejoicing at all times. paul is our great example who rejoiced in everything. everything. prison, rejoice. plenty, rejoice. anything, rejoice. and aren't joyfulness and thankfulness really the same thing? we can't be joyful if we aren't thankful and we can't be thankful if we aren't joyful. i think the most enlightening thing God is teaching me right now is that it is a CHOICE and it is a discipline. things i know i have heard before, but they have taken on new meaning.

feeling joyful/thankful comes AFTER i am joyful/thankful.

motherhood provides the most amazing platform to practice this thanksgiving. she leads me by example in this one. she doesn't have to work as hard as i do to see the beauty and excitement in what we usually see as everyday things.

she is the star role on my thankful list. her and her dad.

her sitting on the counter in the morning while i make oatmeal

his face as she crawls up into his lap

preparing the house for his arrival after a trip

a family walk after dinner in our little downtown

the vibe that comes with several years of marriage

sometimes working for the aforementioned vibe

a "very physical child"

i'm also thankful for blogging. i don't baby-book or journal so well. i have loved making connections with other bloggers or hearing every once in awhile that God used something i said to encourage a friend. i know there are a lot of haters out there who say technology has made us communicate less, but there are oh-so many ways we communicate more!

and to end on a bit of a lighter note: kids say the darndest things. bry farted the other day and fal gal patted his bum, "poo-poo?"

"cheeeeeese" (yes she is saying and eating it)

ain't no sunshine...

bry is on one of his longer trips away this week. he has been in london & dublin and i've loved listening to his explanations of flying in over green pastures, walking around the streets of london- things that remind me of visiting london back in my paris days. i'm pretty sure living in paris is the closest i'll ever have been to being cool ;) i was reminded of that in starbucks yesterday when one of the college kids called me a lady. he wasn't referring to my classiness either.

it has been a good trip for fal & i. i usually try to be intentional about keeping our evenings filled when he's gone, but the longer trip made me even more intentional. don't tell bryon, but we are having a splendid week!

trucks & flowers, about sums this girl up

fal & i were in the city on monday, visiting new cousin carter and his lovable big brothers. fal gal is still talking about "austie." i was amazed at his tenderness (3 year old boy...) towards fallon. often we would find him with his hand on her shoulder, gently reminding her to be careful. at one point, she kinda hit him and after i made her apologize. he replied: "it's ok. she's just little." i see why she raves on the little dude.

got me so so excited for the arrival of little love bug. granted fallon was distracted by her older cousins, but she did so great while i held him and loved on him all afternoon. there were moments where she would be playing by me and i was still able to pour love into my nephew...gave me a glimpse of some future moments to come. i know they won't all be as hallmark-esque, but so very exciting.

i've also been blessed with great company. my MIL made the trip out yesterday and will be staying here for a couple of days. it's amazing having someone want to play/be with your child as much as she does. it's also really nice having someone to talk to once fal goes to bed. i think the loneliest time when you have a traveling husband is when there's not a toddler crawling on you and you're too tired to do anything productive.

and we had a beautiful day yesterday! like i said, quite a splendid week :) AND i get to park in the middle of the garage and not worry about hitting the side when i get fal in & out, i get to go up to bed as soon as i feel like it without waiting for sportscenter to talk about one of the topics on the left-hand side, and nobody pokes fun at me as it's getting harder to hoist myself up off the couch...

i kid, i kid, i miss him dearly. we miss him dearly. any noise she hears, she looks at the garage door: "daddy?!" and i don't laugh nearly as much when he's not here. life isn't even close to as fun when he's gone, but this week, it wasn't all cloudy when he was away.

and some great things have been added to my thankful list recently:

the glow of a new mom (and my SIL is so beautiful to begin with...)

spending time with people who really know you

glimpses of spring

daydreams of future days with my kiddos

feeling like i have a lot of growing to do; a stirring from God

big, curious toddler eyes

go pilots go!

my work is beginning to be put to use... yikes! very exciting stuff. the program that i had a vision for several years ago and have been working on for the last year is about to be implemented. the running program will be launched in 6 pilot sites around the country this spring and then launched on a national level next fall.

check it out:

http://nays.org/fullstory.cfm?articleid=10522

works rather well with the launch of another little delivery scheduled to arrive mid-april :)

neighborly

fal gal is really into high-fives. and by really into, i mean on a trip to the store she offers up high-fives to people as they walk by. she usually throws a high-five toward the food @ grocery stores ("high-five apple") or items at clothing stores ("high-five shoe"). she high-fives everyone in line and whomever is checking us out. to top if off, as we walk through the parking lot, i carry a hollering "high-five car!" love bug to our car. it's awesome.

He answered: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" Luke 7:27

we talked about loving our neighbors in church today. how the above commandment, the GREATEST commandment of all, is a 2-part commandment. i come up short. in my quest to be more thankful and more present and list 1000 thanks, i DO feel closer to God. i feel more in-tune with each situation around our home and with our family and in my work and so on.

one of their smoothie dates.

but what am i doing to show love to my neighbors?

i am moved when i hear sermons on the good samaritan or how we can approach everyday as our mission field. why then, is it so hard to put the desire to help others into action? the pastor brought up such an amazing point today, so often we don't help because we fear for our own safety. as a woman, I feel like this is even more of an issue. where do we draw the line between giving our time & resources to help someone in need vs. not giving a ride to a homeless man because of a risk to my safety and the safety of my daughter.

i don't know...

i do know, if giving high-fives is an act of showing neighborly love, fal gal is knocking the second half of this commandment out of the ballpark. I am motivated by her desire to include everyone who walks by and show friendliness & love in one of the only ways she knows how. yet another way i learn from this amazing little toddler.

one of my thanks? fallon's natural desire to care for her baby doll. she shares her milk, her BELOVED milk, with her baby. fallon gets a sip, baby gets a sip. she shhh-es me so that her baby can sleep. she wraps baby in her pajamas (and then puts her in the microwave or by the dog's bowl, but i'm pretty sure she thinks these are really fun places).

i'm taking a page out of my daughter's book today.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself goes away and immediately forgets wht he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, no forgetting what he has heard, but doing it- he will be blessed in what he does. James 1:22-25

i'm thankful my eyes have been opened to something i've heard before. a verse i've read over so many times. Jesus tells us this is the greatest commandment of all. look out "neighbors" i'm letting my daughter loose on you and redirecting my focus as well.

64 years

i called my grandparents yesterday for their 64th wedding anniversary. yowza. i asked my grandpa if he felt like it has gone by in a snap. he replied with a simple "no" and i am still giggling about his honesty & perspective. my phone call caught them sitting on a swing together in arizona, enjoying the sunshine, talking about the games & cake they would have later on with some of their friends. ahh.

my grandma asked what i was up to..."well, fallon has a fake corn on the cob in her mouth, creating a puddle of drool on the floor, which she is then using her pretend mop to spread around and i'm preparing her hummus and pita for dinner and telling big shot not to bark while calling you guys to wish you a very happy anniversary." we were having very different afternoons.

i always forget that grandma had very similar afternoons. she gave a knowing chuckle because she's been there and i'm sure she enjoys remembering. she did it with 4 kids! and no on-demand mickey mouse clubhouse!!! she's been in this season of life. this season of life that can feel so chaotic at times. i can't capture every single moment. every book on that shelf hasn't been read enough. her little clothes seem to be shrinking? my cleaning skills are nowhere near as fast as her messing skills.

however, we have found a new way to clean our floors...

and while we're on wonderfully chaotic...

welcome to my newest nephew, carter daniel! boy #3 for my brother & sis-in-law. it took them 5 days to name him (yes, you CAN leave the hospital without a name) and he has 2 adorable brothers who are going to provide him with SO MUCH LOVE and so many headlocks. we saw them at the hospital last week and i can't wait to go visit their house soon as it will be ABUZZ with little boys! fal gal will be in heaven. such a wonderful time in life.

and a handsome little peanut!

i'm not sitting on a swing in the arizona sun, i'm not reminiscing on 64 years of marriage, and i'm not feeling the warmth of a baby sleeping in my arms (yet!!) but i am enjoying the peace that comes in my life right now. those glorious 2-3 hours in the afternoon where fal gal recharges her little batteries and i get to work and blog and sit in total quiet. i hear cars outside my window, but there's no little voice saying "CARRRR" and big shot sleeps on my feet, but there's no little voice saying "hi-five shot!" i work and i type and these days at 33 weeks pregnant, i try to keep my eyes open.

i think he enjoys naptime most of all.

and soon, it all begins again!